writing through the craving
Saturday, October 05, 2013
cravings and temptation. this is incredibly difficult.
seriously - i'm in the middle of a serious craving for "MORE!" of something sweet. it's that one sweet spot on the back of my tongue - that physical craving and the mental ... (stepped away to make a salad) ...
okay, it's subsiding ...
started off the day with a half cup of orange juice and a bowl of mixed fruit ... strawberries, bananas, apples, kiwi ... not sure if it was enough.
went to my homegroup AA meeting, and a celebrant brought in the most gorgeous, most beautiful, most colorful and enticing chocolate cupcakes, loaded with bright orange and yellow icing!
i immediately reminded myself, "Just for Today, Eat Well, Live Well, Be Well." But those cupcakes seemed like a 1000 feet tall ... they were BEGGING me to eat them!
that damn sweet spot craving on the back of my tongue, god i hate that thing.
i was in a slight panic ... how was i going to not have one of those cupcakes? Maybe i could just eat one! (oh yeah right!). Maybe I could split one with my daughter (oh yeah right!).
i swear i want to cry. for me, food is an addiction. i'm scared and overwhelmed - i feel too weak to do this forever. but, just for today, that's where i'll stay ... one meal at a time.
i did not eat that damn cupcake. and I'm glad. but it's not easy.