Where oh where has my happiness gone?
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
I am a mother of two fabulous kids. I couldn't ask for better kids. I do what I can to give them the world. But their schedules are wearing me down fast. I feel like all my time is dedicated to their needs. 5 nights a week and weekends my daughter has dance and I'm her competition company "go to" mom. My son has baseball 2 nights a week, practice on Saturday, and 2 games every Sunday. I am the team manager.
My husband and I had a heart to heart last night that neither one of us are happy with how things are going with our communication, schedules, financials, etc.
I had to remind him that's just the way it is when you have kids. Or is it? Is that just the way we've chosen our lives?
I keep thinking things will get easier with schedules and bills and everything else. But as I age, it's not getting easier.
My goal: if I'm happy with me, everything else will be easier (or so I will tell myself).
I want me time back. I want my life to be happy. I want to be happy. I know physically there are things that prevent that. I live with Hashimoto's induced hypothyroid with TSH levels that have never evened out for more than 3 months in the last 12 years. I know the sluggiest metabolism and the aches and pains will be in my way. But I need to do something to find my happiness.
The question remains: what will make me deep down, truly happy?????