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Sugar Rehab

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

I really wanted to bake cookies tonight.

I wanted the soft gooey insides of that chocolate chip cookie.
I wanted to put an Oreo inside the cookie. Mmm Inception Cookies
I thought about the ways I could bake cookies without eating them all myself.
I could go to a friends house and bake. They could help me eat those cookies.
1 cookie can't be worth all that many calories, I thought. It's just a cookie.
But if you give a binger a cookie, she's going to want some milk.
If you give a binger some milk, she's going to want another cookie.
If she still has milk, she's going to want another cookie.
Until there are no more cookies for her to eat.
The guilt comes in a wave afterwards. Why did I let this happen?
Which spirals further into self-loafing destructive behavior.
I screwed it up again. It doesn't even matter now. Yes I'd like a large Peanut Butter fudge shake, please.

I passed up the market, I passed up the friends' house. I passed up the fast food.
I stopped at the gym.
I did intervals of 3.5 and 6.6 mph for 2 miles. 2 minute walk, 1 minute run.
I was at 95% of my max heart rate.
I licked my lips.
The sweat tasted better than a cookie.

It's funny how a thought can consume your mind. Completely take over as you contemplate on how to get that satisfaction. Rationalizing any way possible to get the fix you want. Trying to make your desire seem logical.

Sweets are my drug. I've been weaning off. Having bits of chocolate here and there - my methadone. Strictly regulating my intake. I ran out of my methadone tonight.

I don't think I'll be getting more.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • THELILEA
    Way to go!! What a great example of something so many of us experience, and how you dealt with it. Fantastico!
    2682 days ago
  • LUCKYPRESENCE
    Awesome!! I am one of those people who would eat a cookie one at a time until the whole plate was gone.... and then want some milk emoticon

    Way to go making the choice to go get your sweat on! I am a firm believer that nothing tastes as good as "skinny", or in my case "strong" feels. Keep up the great work :)
    2683 days ago
  • DEEKELLYE
    I buy a bag of Dove's dark chocolate squares and I have two at a time when I want some chocolate and I have my fix. I do get cravings for cookie dough and I got to be careful how often I make it since Elijah loves cookie dough too.
    2685 days ago
  • SANDYCRANE
    I get in those moods where I really want some cake or cookies. And when I bake I eat the batter and everything else. My new strategy is to have something sweet after supper such as a Fiber One 90 cal brownie or a WW ice cream bar. That really helps me out and I do not feel deprived.

    emoticon
    2689 days ago
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