And she's finally back...
Monday, September 09, 2013
Been forEVER since I've been here. I almost feel guilty or like a dog with my tail between it's legs crawling back home. I've had a lot of ups and downs since last time and its been a little rocky here and there. The career choice I made as a Personal Trainer did not work out at all for me. I spent a lot of time at the Y volunteering and made some positive impacts on the members and was blessed by them as well but things just did not work out there. I also tried several other places to look for work as a trainer but had no luck what so ever. I was even working with a career coach that was provided by my school, but working with her only made me realize that I'm still the same person I've always been. Quiet, still a bit shy and not authoritative enough to get my foot in the door for this career. This brought me into a bought of darkness that I had to fight off.
At this point I am still looking for work. I've been trying hard to find a job, but still to no avail. It is discouraging but I'm trying not to let it get me down because I know I have made positive efforts. I'm just constantly disappointing with myself for working so hard toward being educated as a trainer and then realizing it wasn't meant for me. If ever I had the opportunity, if someone would give me a chance, I would still like to help people get healthier. But my first love will always be art.
As for my own health journey, as I said I've had ups and downs, that goes for emotions as well as the scale, unfortunately. It seems like the only time I lose is when I can't afford food...lol. Not kidding though. The last time I lost and my clothes fit better and loosened up was when I was staying at my mom's and she barely had anything to eat there. This summer has been rough for me too. It's been so hot I've felt sick, battled a lot of headaches and dizziness and just generally felt very lethargic at times. But I am coming back around now. As the weather cools I seem to come alive.
I've been a lot more active and am back to planning my workouts. I will and do NOT want to go back to the way I was before I lost all my weight. My life, my health, my success and confidence is too important to me. I may have hit some bumps and snags along the way but I will get better and learn a lot on the way to whatever God has for me.