Tuesday, September 03, 2013
Failing to prepare is preparing to fail."
I am a little grumpy about the above saying nowadays. Not that I don´t believe in it because as I am a devoted doer I do believe in being proactive, taking precautions and always have a plan.
But I have also experienced a new feeling lately – there is something in the third step:
"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him (Her..)"
I love making plans and feeling in control because I have done what I should and it will hopefully give good results. But the same attitude also makes me insecure because I start to think that it is all up to me. And lately I have had a strong feeling of "letting go and letting God"
Which still does not mean that I do not have to plan my food or commit to exercising or thinking ahead of situations where I know I will be vulnerable. But the top priority should be to listen. It will be interesting to see how this will develop...
The swedish group feels weird. What happened was that the leader put up a new thread - "binge-eating and analyzes" and proclaimed the chat thread to be for "positive things and support"... ad nobody really answered my question about how they defined support...
So I am grumpy, feel a little insecure and will not confront the stuff. I will lay low and do nothing for a while to see what happens further on. What immediately happened was that everybody engaged in the "binge-eating" thread and wrote long posts...even the lady who was not interested. Oh well...my paranoia tells me that it is all an attempt to get rid of me. And that is silly. But still, I am a little offended by the way it was handled - as usual I think that everybody else's feelings are more considered than mine, as I am verbally outspoken and sort of honest people tend to think I am tough. I am not. I am definitely a princess on a pea. But I will withdraw to my tower and wait – not for the prince but for some sort of directive from my higher power...