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Third step

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

Failing to prepare is preparing to fail."

John Wooden

I am a little grumpy about the above saying nowadays. Not that I don´t believe in it because as I am a devoted doer I do believe in being proactive, taking precautions and always have a plan.

But I have also experienced a new feeling lately – there is something in the third step:

"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him (Her..)"

I love making plans and feeling in control because I have done what I should and it will hopefully give good results. But the same attitude also makes me insecure because I start to think that it is all up to me. And lately I have had a strong feeling of "letting go and letting God"

Which still does not mean that I do not have to plan my food or commit to exercising or thinking ahead of situations where I know I will be vulnerable. But the top priority should be to listen. It will be interesting to see how this will develop...

The swedish group feels weird. What happened was that the leader put up a new thread - "binge-eating and analyzes" and proclaimed the chat thread to be for "positive things and support"... ad nobody really answered my question about how they defined support...

So I am grumpy, feel a little insecure and will not confront the stuff. I will lay low and do nothing for a while to see what happens further on. What immediately happened was that everybody engaged in the "binge-eating" thread and wrote long posts...even the lady who was not interested. Oh well...my paranoia tells me that it is all an attempt to get rid of me. And that is silly. But still, I am a little offended by the way it was handled - as usual I think that everybody else's feelings are more considered than mine, as I am verbally outspoken and sort of honest people tend to think I am tough. I am not. I am definitely a princess on a pea. But I will withdraw to my tower and wait – not for the prince but for some sort of directive from my higher power...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I don't think I like this group very much, from what you've said here, Meddy. They sound cliquish and closed, and I wonder if there's one valid, prescribed way to seek that contact with a God of one's understanding, if that's the aim. I don't believe there is; I believe it's a personal relationship one builds, or doesn't. It's what resonates with truth to you, not a system or a group...but I'm a little bit of an individualist. If you feel excluded or not at home, don't stay with them. I wouldn't...
    2284 days ago
    In Alanon, I felt support meant listening and sharing our own experience, strength and hope. Taking calls, sponsorship, and often on from there to friendship which depends on a deeper connection than the group purpose. Keeping the steps and traditions as boundaries and a guide for meetings and study groups.
    This Swedish group may just not be a healthy group for you; and that's OK. Not all groups fit all people. We all have our favorite meetings because of the mix of people. Just as here we have friends we gravitate to and others that we distance ourselves from. Nothing "personal" really has to be a factor. It's more finding people we can relate to. Sometimes we do overthink things when we should just let go. Be well.
    2284 days ago
    You could start a philosophy class... I like how you compare the two quotes and look for your own truth.
    Maybe the leader just wanted to be of help and create more clarity. So those who love to analyze have a place to do it and those who 'just' want encouragement also have a place of their own.
    There is so much subtlety and nuance in you and at the same time, yes, I can imagine people find you tough as well.

    How do YOU define support?
    2284 days ago
    Sending you a hug via an eagle. Be strong my dear friend, you will prevail and your HP will well advise. Withdrawing to meditate IS strength. Phewy those posters stink. You are grand! I say so!
    2285 days ago
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