Not eating all chips...
Friday, August 23, 2013
Sat in front of teve with cravings. Not hungry, just craving...had nothing in the house. But wait... is there not a bag of nacho chips intended for daughter to go with taco soup?
Yes there was. Read the label - 495 calories in 100 grams... I exercised a lot yesterday so I still had 1700 cal left to eat. Measured 100 grams in a bowl, put the bag back in the cupboard and ate chips with the film I was watching.
Another 100 grams would not hurt, would it? Knew I was going down... wieghed the bag and it was 295 grams left. If I would give in and eat it all I would equal intake and outpu... all that effort for nothing. Decided against another 100 grams, too dangerous. Put the bag back in the cupboard, had a cup of tea and later went to bed.
If any of you are binge-eaters you know that this is highly uncharacteristic. It is also highly uncharacteristic for my former black-white person - either I eat well or I eat all in sight...
My emotions are really in a turmoil over this - I am very happy that it worked to be that "normal" and hope that I will be able to repeat it over and over. Eat dangerous stuff without bingeing...
But there is also a very disappointed little addict in my mind who screams "Hey! You are not supposed to do that! The rules are that if I can fool you into start eating something unplanned, you will go on as long as there is any tiny room at all in your stomach and even more... the rules are that you can´t stop once you started!! The rules are that you are a victim to your disease!"
Yesterday I did very good. And today I will stay on track. One day at the time.
Thanks for reading