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102 shattered by a bully...

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

So, the past few months I have been eating better and exercising more. Yes, there are times I make less than good choices with food, or hit the snooze instead of getting on the treadmill - but overall, I have made lots of positive changes!

I started walking, lifting weights, using a kettlebell. I try to get 10,000 steps in every day.

Mr Scale has rewarded me with a number almost 35 pounds smaller than where I started at Easter time.

My clothes have gotten too big. My smaller clothes have room in them. I no longer have to shop in the plus size clothes.

People have noticed my increased energy, my smaller size, my positive attitude. I get compliments from people who say "You really ENJOY your life" and I do.

I was feeling pretty good. I felt like I looked pretty good. I felt like I was accomplishing something.

I completed a 5k yesterday. My second one. I was sore. I had poison ivy on my ankles and it was itchy. My knee hurt. But I finished and with a time of 48 minutes 2 seconds - which I of course was not happy with. I thought I SHOULD have done more, I SHOULD have been faster. I was not feeling very accomplished, crossing the finish line well after those fit runners...

And then, I saw this picture of me and my daughter posted on the website of the 5k race.

And then this bully started in - look at the size of her legs - she still has that thick middle - and that double chin - so much for looking good - wow, she has a long way to go to look fit - and she couldn't even post a decent time in the race - she's still a big girl with a long way to go - she probably will NEVER get there. UGH!

Now I would never think it would be acceptable to say those things to someone else - in fact I never would say those things to anyone - except myself. I would encourage that person, not cut her down. Yet for some reason I bully myself. I expect the near impossible from me.

So, note to self "Stop IT"!!!! Bullying is not acceptable!!!

You my dear are not a quitter. With practice you will post a better time. With more training, you will become stronger. With more healthy eating and exercise, you will become leaner. Your body is incredibly strong to carry those 190 lbs across the finish line. Give it some credit!

Wait! Bully within, look at that woman - look above that double chin and see the smile on her face. Nothing negative going on there! Look at the sparkle in her eyes from that feeling of accomplishment! She rocks! AND she crossed the finish line (even you couldn't weight her down!) WooHoo!!!!!

Yep, life is good, even if we don't always like the pictures at first glance. Sometimes we need to take a second, deeper look.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD13651430
    You are doing amazing! Keep it up and shove that bully to the curb next time that pull up next to you. emoticon
    2870 days ago
    great blog!
    2870 days ago
    WOW awesome attitude
    2870 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1610124
    You have done a wonderful job, I am so glad you have decided to stop the bully within. Way to go!
    2870 days ago
    Way to look that bully in the eye and scaring it away. emoticon
    2870 days ago
    You certainly inspired me today. Thanks very much for sharing the picture and your story!

    Huge emoticon on your 5K accomplishment. You showed determination and character finishing when you were hurting, etc. emoticon
    2870 days ago
  • LETHA_
    It's wonderful that you recognized that you were being too self critical and then you turned it around. Congratulations on the marathon. You are my inspiration for the day!

    2870 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13786757
    Awesome attitude! I could never run in a race! WOW! emoticon emoticon
    2871 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13423552
    Why are we are own worst critics? You are doing awesome and you need to be nicer to yourself. Tell your bully to lighten up and I'll tell mine the same. Deal?
    2871 days ago
  • MAGS650
    Sometimes it's hard to let go of our past attitudes and change the way we view ourselves. However, I was so glad to see that you were able to recognize the negative attitude and change it into something positive. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy, but you're making strides in improve that. I commend you. Congrats on completing the 5k and also on your weight loss. Keep it up!
    2871 days ago
    You are doing fine, even if all those things are true. But no one will say them to you but you. Why? Because anyone running that race with you, even the ones who did it in 18 minutes (yep there are some of them out there) are likely to be cheering you on.

    Way to go. You will only get better. Everyone starts somewhere.
    2871 days ago
  • KATHY98665
    We certainly do! I was so impressed reading about how much you have lost and all of the wonderful strides you have made. Bravo! emoticon
    And yes, why do we beat ourselves up? Why do we do to ourselves what we would NEVER do to another person? I certainly did not look at that photo and scrutinize your legs or envision what the scale might say. I was too busy thinking, WOW! LOOK AT HER GO! Keep up the AWESOME WORK!
    2871 days ago
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