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Monday, July 29, 2013

I am one of those crazy busy, hamster spinning in the wheel people. This week, in addition to my full time job, I have my son visiting for the night tonight, a speaking engagement at a local facility, tomorrow is my good friend's mother's funeral, a trip to Detroit for a baseball game (which means getting in during those wee hours), haircut and color tomorrow, followed by Blues on the Mall Wednesday and Thursday is the 5k I signed up for, Friday is my ME day! nothing on my schedule (except to do all that stuff at home, like mow the lawn, laundry, dust, etc), Saturday heading north to go canoeing with some good friends, followed by dinner and the following day have a nonprofit board meeting for a good part of the day. PHEW!

This is my life. I love to be busy. I fill my time with he people and things that make my heart sing. I don't just mindlessly spin, I have a purpose and reap great satisfaction from it. I love to be nomadic. I love to wander off the beaten path. I have a hard time staying home and sitting on the couch - my mind starts to wander and fill with all the things I could be doing and seeing! Life is too short to just sit and watch it go by out the window. When I workout, I am not a slow yoga, meditation person - I am on a spin bike climbing mountains with sweat dripping from my elbows. Don't get me wrong - I do have my days where I stay in my jammies and read, or watch tv all day, or do yoga - but they are far and few in between. It doesn't take a lot for me to recharge.

I have kept this pace forever. I don't know how to NOT keep this pace. When I was hit by the van while riding my bike a few years back, I was forced to slow down. I fell into depression. I felt like life was passing me by and all these opportunities were slipping away.... I felt unable to participate in my own life, unable to do the things I love - and felt I may never be able to do them again.

I had to pull myself out of that depression, get off the couch and participate in life again. I had to learn how to walk again - walking just 2 tenths of a mile gave me knee pain - now I can walk 3-4 miles a day with no issues other than a little tightness and swelling that is gone by the next morning.

I had to learn to be patient with myself and just walk 2 tenths of a mile instead of pushing through to get that mile in only to be sidelined for 2-3 weeks. I had to learn to take a slow spin ride and to not stand and climb those hills like I wanted to until I gained the strength and stability in my knee to do so. It's hard to keep your butt in the seat when everyone else is standing. My mind would say to me - look at the fat girl who can't keep up, she is the one who NEEDS to be standing - but I learned to ignore that voice and hear the one that said if you stand, you won't be back for a month and you won't burn ANY calories or do ANY workout. That was hard!

I used to say the crazy pace is one of the reasons I eat poorly - grab food in the car, or on my way home because I have just enough time to lightly land & go. I have taken to grilling this summer because I can make many things in 10 minutes that are healthy on the grill. Not to mention warming up leftovers in the microwave. No more pizza and take out burgers, french dips, fried chicken every night ..... No more excuses. If this is my lifestyle choice and I want to live - I need to eat better. It is working! I can no longer justify my poor eating with my busy lifestyle.

I didn't think it could be done - but I have managed to find time for 30-60 minutes of walking every day. I have managed to find time to eat healthy. I feel better, AND have more energy!

I have learned that this is who I am. This is what works for ME. It doesn't matter if it works for you - it works for me. This sounds crazy to others - but I am content, my smile is beaming brightly, and my heart is singing (kinda like that loud singing I do in the car when no one is listening), not to mention, others are noticing too - not just the change in my physical appearance, but the change in me!

I am so glad I found spark people --- which helped me find myself. With every pound I lose, I am uncovering more of the incredible person inside. I like her!!!

If you are new, I hope you keep logging in, blogging, reading, trying new things and find that incredible person inside of you! Keep trying, keep challenging yourself, you will be amazed!

When I got here, I would gladly unzip my skin to become anyone BUT me - the unhappy, frustrated, fat girl. Today, I wouldn't unzip my skin to be anyone BUT me! Thanks sparkpeople!!!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I love your blog, the happiness you feel radiates off the page!
    2882 days ago
  • SARIC_33

    I'm glad you are on spark people too.

    Your energy is contagious!

    I can hear the fullness of your life coming through. Keep it up.
    2883 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13423552
    Wow, way to go! Look how far you've come and sounds like a busy week. I am doing the same thing, sitting here figuring out my day for activity. Thinking I can do 30 minutes on the elliptical at lunch and then get out for a walk later. My husband called me on my cell phone last night to find out where I was. I said I was going for a short walk, but just kept going, thinking yes, I can get my steps in tonight! LOL, we just have to keep moving! Have a great week.
    2883 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13838073
    AWESOME story!! I'm so glad you're here...on Spark, but more importantly HERE, as in present in your own life. The same thing doesn't work for everyone, but PRAISE ALLAH we found what works for us!!

    love you Barb! Keep up the great work!!!

    love you!
    2883 days ago
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