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Year 7 Day 1 - One week, one weak

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

I just realized today is the beginning of my 7th year at SparkPeople. That isn't what I came here to write about, first hint I didn't realize it until I noticed it on my Spark page to write this blog. Maybe tomorrow I will write about my successes and disappointments over the past 6 years during my lifestyle change. But, today I am writing to Lucky Bugs.

My Dear Lucky,
Almost to the moment, it has been one week since your physical being left us. One long difficult week. I miss you so much. Last week I wrote abut some of things I would miss now that your physical being is gone. I miss all those things and much more. I miss you lying on the back of my chair as I sit there. I miss you walking across my laptop keyboard, or sitting on it. I miss you showing up from wherever you were in the house when supper is almost ready. This morning when I was in the shower and Daddy stuck his head in the bathroom door as he left for work, I missed him telling you, "you're in charge". I miss you stealing some milk from Daddy's glass of milk.

Your Daddy misses you, too. He has shed his tears for you, as I have. Friday evening as we sat in the car after picking your ashes up, we held the small box and cried. Your Daddy commented, we were taking you home not the way we had hoped but where you belong. Saturday we spent over an hour in a leather store searching for the right piece of leather to make a pouch for you. Yesterday when I came home he was sitting at the table making the pouch. A precious way for him to show how much he loved you.

Your brother and sister miss you terribly. They have both been a bit lost this past week. Sissy has spent a lot of time under our bed. Pilgrim has spent a bit more time downstairs then normal. Neither will go into the back bedroom the three of you shared. Neither has gotten on the cat tower this week. Pilgrim will not jump on the counter where you would eat, even though when you were physically here he had no problem sneaking up there when you weren't looking.

I have heard and seen you a few times this week. Daddy has, too. But, neither one of us as much as Pilgrim has. There has been several times one or both of us has heard the herd of elephants upstairs. You know, that same herd when you and Pilgrim would be playing upstairs. Prissy was downstairs each time, so it had to be you and Pilgrim. What a wonderful sound it is.

I should have been working out this morning when I was writing this. But, I felt the need to get some emotions out this morning. I suppose some may say I am dwelling too much on losing you. But, I can't stop the thoughts of you. I can't stop this hurt I feel, only time will make the hurt lessen, but never go away. I can't keep all these feelings bottled up inside. This is part of my grieving for you. You, my sweet Lucky, were my four-legged best friend. For almost 15 years you were there with me through the good and bad times. You were there to perk me up when I felt down. You made me smile. You made me laugh. You even annoyed me at times, but always in your sweet way. You made me feel loved. I pray you felt the same;. Our home will never be the same without you.

I love you, Lucky Duck!

Missing you,
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