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92 pictures, tired and guilty.....

Friday, July 19, 2013

So yesterday was the office dinner party. I tried to snap a couple pictures before I left - but if I set the flash - you saw a big white spot in the mirror - and if I didn't set the flash, I was lost in the shadows. I will have to get my daughter to snap a full length photo of me in my dress next time she is over.

But I did get a couple with the camera doing the reverse lens shot thing. At least you can see part of my dress! My arms weren't long enough to get ALL of me!

I'm still kinda in the shadows, ugh... some day I will buy a real camera. But I'm afraid that would become an addiction too!

Anyhow - even thought the dress didn't make the woman, I sure felt wonderful in it!

Now if only I could have remembered the eating habits that got me into the dress. I must say, I passed on the candied pecan loaded salad before dinner, but then there was the steak, salmon, fresh green beans and these breaded mashed potatoes which were baked..... I ate all the salmon and green beans, a couple bites of steak, and two of the mashed potato things (I left two). That was enough food for 3 or 4 meals. Top that off with a dark chocolate dipped strawberry and some sort of strawberry thing on a chocolate thing with some whipped cream. UGH! Not to mention dinner didn't end until 9:30. I felt like I needed to be rolled home. I over ate. UGH!

Not only did I overeat at dinner, I took my good friend out to lunch for her birthday and indulged in 1/2 a french dip and 4 sweet potato chips yesterday. The calorie count was probably 2 days worth!!! I had no idea how to count some of the stuff I ate. I just know it was BAD.

Yep - I probably shouldn't eat for the rest of the week!

Feeling..... tired AND guilty.

So this morning I saw that gremlin again --- he was saying, hit the snooze you are sooo tired, it was a really late night. You can walk after work. Sleep in. --- AND I DID!

Then he said, go ahead order lunch with the girls, it's too hot to walk in the swamp today ---AND I DID!

and now he is saying - Keep eating like you are and that dress will be in the back of the closet with all those other things you can't wear. You are not meant to be healty and trim ----AND I BELIEVE HIM

and then that little voice says --- Just stop now Barb, all will be well. You can turn this around if you stop right now. You know the drill. No more high calorie, high fat, high carb foods today. Back to the low fat meats, fresh fruit and veggies. Go home and take a walk, you will feel better. You looked smashing in that dress - and you will wear it again if you just do what you need to do. Remember - HALT - don't get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired - that's when you get into trouble. Go home, eat a small sensible meal, take a walk and then GET SOME SLEEP.

So Gremlin, be gone. I'm not listening. I got some stuff to do and it includes wearing that dress. Enough sitting here entertaining this conversation with you, I am going to quit talking AND DO SOMETHING. Can you see me shining the light into your eyes??? Go away!

Yep, I lost sight of my goal and made some bad choices. Guilty. But I am not going to wallow there until the guilt turns to shame. I'm movin on.

On a sad note, I am going to work EXTRA EXTRA hard to meet my goals for July. While I have picked up the workouts, the bad food choices seem to be holding me back this month. Five more days til weigh in. No more excuses!!!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD12785407
    Great dress! Don't worry about the "splurge" for the office party. It's one day, just go back to the good habits again. If you don't allow yourself a little splurge now and then, it makes it harder to keep up with the new healthy habits. You can do it.....

    P.S. - Love the way you put your thoughts into words!

    Your fellow Grand Rapidian
    2885 days ago
    Way to kick that gremlin to the curb, Sparksister!
    2886 days ago
    You look gorgeous in that dress and you had a great day. NOW, stop with the guilt nonsense. So, you made a few less than ideal choices - I bet most of those skinny minnies did too. So, you weren't perfect - knock off the guilty recriminations, they don't help, they steal your pleasure in feeling great and looking marvelous and enjoying delicious food - I will bet that you did better than you normally would have in the past BOTH during lunch and also during that dinner. Start today with the JOY of a successful and beautiful night out and move on making your healthier choices TODAY - that is what you can control. Let yesterday - with ALL of your success and joy - become a memory.
    2886 days ago
    You look beautiful in your dress and I appreciate your detailed honesty!! You made me laugh. I wonder though, did you track that food to see how it all added up? Some of it doesn't sound so terrible actually. A half of a french dip is better than a whole french dip. Thinly sliced beef is not a bad choice although a bit salty. When I have bad food days I feel it the most by puffing up from higher salt intake.

    Welcome back to your new healthier lifestyle. You will feel better soon. emoticon
    2887 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13423552
    You can do it, you can beat down the gremlin and win! And by the way, you look fab in the dress!

    2887 days ago
    I liked this, it sounds like me. Today is a new day so you can reach those goals emoticon
    2887 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13838073
    You go Girl!!! Way to turn that around! So grateful to watch you take care of yourself, Barb!!

    And you looked BEAUTIFUL in your dress :-)

    love you,
    2887 days ago
  • AJB121299
    2887 days ago
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