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Back Again...

Monday, June 24, 2013

Well...Im back. Back to square one, back to the beginning, back to starting this journey all over again.
Last January I started my journey on here with a lot of energy and motivation. I did great...from January till April I lost 45lb and had managed to quit smoking.
Unfortunately, my interest in anything in my life never seems to last more than 3 months. I really don't have an excuse this time...there was no major stressful event to cause me to start eating junk again and to make me go back to smoking. It just...happened. There were a couple of birthdays and events in April where I thought I would just enjoy by eating whatever was served. I told myself it was a special occasion and it wouldn't be an everyday thing. But we all know that that's a load of crap. Once I got started I continued eating on more and more days until it was once again an everyday thing. I then stopped drinking water and exercising because I was eating crap anyways. As a result I became very stressed over the fact that I had just given up so easily and instead of doing something about it I just went out and bought some smokes. Now that I was back to being completely unhealthy on a daily basis I basically figured I might as well give up on everything. So I stopped wearing my fitbit and I stopped taking my thyroid and depression pills, and I stopped going to bed at night, and on some days I even stopped showering. I had once again hit rock bottom. Apparently thats the only way that I can come to my senses.
So here I am...3 months later, having gained back almost all the weight I lost, and having wasted all that time and energy working on a goal only to sabotage myself once again.
To be completely honest, I am not as motivated this time around. I mean, I've spent the last 11 years of my life trying to do this...what would make this time different? I don't know if I will do any better this time around but I am still here, and am still fighting.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Sorry I just saw this blog, nonetheless, I saw you in my friend's feed:). Very glad you are back, one day at a time. You can do this. emoticon
    2389 days ago
    I'm so glad you are able to be honest with yourself--you are starting "Round Two" if you will, with the exact right mindset. You will succeed as long as you never give up!! I too, am coming back after a hiatus of a couple years and I totally feel just like you about reclaiming "old victories on the scale". I'm so excited to watch your journey through our summer challenge and beyond!!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

    2408 days ago
  • ADZY86
    Welcome back! We've missed you around here. I know this whole weight loss thing is SOOOO hard! Yeah, you've tried for the past 11 years...but how do you know this time isn't going to be the final time you have to do it? Every time we fall and get back up is another opportunity to get it done. This is your time girl. Just take it one day at a time....one MEAL at a time. We're all here to support you through it because we know how it feels. Just keeping pushing cos I know you can do this emoticon back emoticon emoticon
    2766 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7868301
    Welcome back... I just came back about a week ago. I agree with Favall's plan!

    If you haven't gotten back on your medication, I'd recommend doing that first. When I'm depressed, I have less motivation than usual, and the thyroid medicine might help with your weight loss. And definitely start going to bed and showering daily if you haven't already... getting enough sleep is a big part of losing weight, and I always feel better when I'm clean :)
    2767 days ago
    So glad you are back with us! Just set your goal for the immediate future and map out that action plan. Once you have a couple days of accomplishing those items, you'll be back on track. We are here to support you along the journey.

    2767 days ago
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