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Subtract 5. Add 2. Equals? Frustrated and hungry.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

As I continue on this journey towards health and fitness, I brush against the frustrations that everyone will find familiar. That damn scale.

I work, sweat, struggle, go hungry, eat healthy and I lose 5lbs in about a month. emoticon

Then I have a bad week (which, all in all, REALLY wasn't that bad!), and I gain 2lbs. emoticon

That's just a hairs-width away from gaining almost 50% of what I lost in 25% of the time. emoticon

That is the VERY definition of frustration.

I know we've all been there. I know I have to work through this. I know that if I refocus my efforts I'll be losing 10, 20 or more pounds. I know this. But my heart cries that so much effort and struggle and uncomfortableness netted me so little gain. While the slightest slip of caloric intake set me back SO fast, SO far, and SO easily.

Here come the internal pep talks: You can do this! This is only a modest set-back! You just need to get back on that horse! Here is your opportunity to do it again... it's only 2lbs. You'll sweat that off in NO time!

Followed by the values I hold dear: Remember your goal; LIFETIME improvement! LIVE longer! LIVE better! Get out and DO something without huffing and puffing! ENJOY physical activities again!!

THEN this happens: You can't do it. You are a failure. Stop fighting the impossible.

That last voice is the quietest. It is the softest. And yet, it fills me and weighs me down so completely that it cripples my best cheerleader chant.

So I've opted to take a different approach. I'm not sure if it will work or won't. But I'm sharing it with SP. Time will tell, won't it?

My new approach:

Accept the loss. Weep for it, if I must. Grieve it, accept it, embrace it. It DOES hurt. It DOES make me feel that I am failing... AGAIN.

As with other losses in life, I must accept what I've lost... Accept what I cannot control. Accept what I CAN control. Remember that this is a challenge, but that the challenge is a day-to-day one; not a win-it-all or lose-it-all event. It's ok to lose once in awhile. But that doesn't mean the whole journey ends.

Here is my first speed bump on the road to a better life. It'll be behind me soon enough.

Next? Neuter that damn negative voice that keeps telling me I'm going to fail. I'm not sure how to do THAT yet. But boy .... that voice is on my list of things to get rid of!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD14015082
    You are right you do need to grieve the gain and then you wil be able to get past it. I am someone who used to quit with the all or nothing attitude but all that gets me is fatter. You can get through this. We all make mistakes and we will make more in the future but we are here for you and want you to succeed. emoticon
    2619 days ago
  • no profile photo CD11725650
    Try giving yourself some different talk. I was listening to a CD by Geneen Roth and she made this interesting comment. She said, "The process is the goal." Thinking about that has helped me handle my recent weight gain (and yes it came back faster than what it took to lose it). I just don't feel as defeated now or like I am a failure. Also it helps when I remember that my weight doesn't define who I am. Good luck to you.
    2619 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/12/2013 4:24:08 PM
    Just remember: Though no one can go back and make a BRAND NEW START, anyone can start from NOW and make a BRAND NEW ENDING. Your frustrations and joys completely mirror mine. You are very eloquent in the pain of the weight loss journey. The bottom line is - losing weight (dieting) just sucks! Just try to find a way to make it suck less! :)
    2619 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10356350
    We can't always choose our thoughts, but we can choose which ones we will accept. Best wishes to you. Let us know if you figure out how to get rid of negative thoughts once and for all! :)
    2620 days ago
    I have certainly been there and, just like you said, I try to reframe my thoughts. I try to remind myself that my journey is more than just about weight; it is about my health. I try and forgive myself and learn from it. I know that it is not easy, but you can do it!!!
    2620 days ago
    Also do not forget to use other signs that your health in improving. Do you have more energy? Are your pants not as tight? etc. We all have the negative thoughts. You just have to opt which one you choose to listen to. emoticon
    2620 days ago
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