Another Quick fix
Friday, May 31, 2013
Sweden is - I think - world leader in how many gastric bypass that are done on exptremely obese (in relation to population)- I have a hospital just an hours drive away that specializes in the operation and it is sometimes very tempting to apply for - my obesity is bad enough to give me acceptance for it. But the impact on the body scares me too much, I have heard too many stories about things gone wrong and met too many people who gained back what they lost - not to mention obsessive people who turned to another obsession like drugs, shopping or alcohol when eating was no longer an option.
But this morning it´s about another surgical method on the news, it is already in use in USA and a study is being made in Sweden - it´s a kind of "hose" from the stocmach to the outside and thirty minutes after eating you flush 30 % of the things you ate in the toilet. Absurd but working - AND combined with cognitive behaviour.
The interesting part was the woman interviewed (who had lost about 80 pounds in a year) that admitted she was a compulisve overeater, admitted that she was fighting hard to change her behaviour and admitted she felt stupid when people complimented her for getting thin "I did not do anything" and it is still complicated but right now I am so depressed by the effects of my overweight - AND the facts that even those negatives does not seem to help me to eat right, it makes my obsession worse instead.
I really need help!
And the other thing - I have had a big drama with a friend for three days with a lot of accusations on me not being what she thought I was etc. - I am really proud of myself because I have been very brave, loving and honest all through this. Now things seem to calm down, she seems to get proportions back, she texts that I am a very brave person and then "normal" stuff - and now my "inner child" kicks in and feels sort of abandoned. I want twenty gold medals and eternal happiness as a reward for being so strong and nice through all this...not losing temper, not getting too scared of the drama, keeping to the subject and being as loving and caring I could but still true to myself.
But now I feel empty and a little depressed. Either it is the drama queen in me wanting more or it is that early abandoned child who roars...
Thanks for reading!