Ok, it was not a good idea...
Saturday, May 25, 2013
I hate to admit it but that fast diet does not work for me.... I absolutely hate to admit it... I am still trying because it gives me a really good feeling when I succeed and I lose weight very fast with it - but after a day with successful starving I go beserk and eat double... Not at first, I did some small overeating and calmed myself that it did not matter because together I was still eating less. but it got more and more out of hand and after a while the fast days weren´t really fast days either.
For the moment I am at"just try to eat a little less" but I do desperately want to starve away many kilos because summer is coming and I need to lose those kilos before our theatre begins because my character is cliombing starirs and dancing and it would be so much easier if I could drop those kilos...
I found a really good book William Leith "The Hungry Years: Confessions of a food addict" - published 2005 translated to swedish 2008. He has done a good job of describing what obsessive eating is about he also describes very well how much contempt obesity and overeating awakens - also among the obese.
This guy found a solution in Atkins - and felt a tremendous relief at first "ok, so it was only about the food, as soon as I got the right food plan I could manage"... but after a while he finds that it is only the tip of the iceberg... it he does not eat, he drinks, or snorts cocaine - he has to get away from himself somehow.
And then he gets into therapy and starts to unwind all the complicted feelings that made him turn to food as a child - and later to alcohol and other drugs.
And the thing I like is that at the end it does not seem as he has solved the problem all together. He seems to understand why and what actions that are required to handle himself, he does not always succeed but he works on one day at the time... and although it is unclear to me where he really is at, the things he writes about gave me a lot of food for thoughts.