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Ok, it was not a good idea...

Saturday, May 25, 2013

I hate to admit it but that fast diet does not work for me.... I absolutely hate to admit it... I am still trying because it gives me a really good feeling when I succeed and I lose weight very fast with it - but after a day with successful starving I go beserk and eat double... Not at first, I did some small overeating and calmed myself that it did not matter because together I was still eating less. but it got more and more out of hand and after a while the fast days weren´t really fast days either.

For the moment I am at"just try to eat a little less" but I do desperately want to starve away many kilos because summer is coming and I need to lose those kilos before our theatre begins because my character is cliombing starirs and dancing and it would be so much easier if I could drop those kilos...

I found a really good book William Leith "The Hungry Years: Confessions of a food addict" - published 2005 translated to swedish 2008. He has done a good job of describing what obsessive eating is about he also describes very well how much contempt obesity and overeating awakens - also among the obese.

This guy found a solution in Atkins - and felt a tremendous relief at first "ok, so it was only about the food, as soon as I got the right food plan I could manage"... but after a while he finds that it is only the tip of the iceberg... it he does not eat, he drinks, or snorts cocaine - he has to get away from himself somehow.

And then he gets into therapy and starts to unwind all the complicted feelings that made him turn to food as a child - and later to alcohol and other drugs.

And the thing I like is that at the end it does not seem as he has solved the problem all together. He seems to understand why and what actions that are required to handle himself, he does not always succeed but he works on one day at the time... and although it is unclear to me where he really is at, the things he writes about gave me a lot of food for thoughts.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • BETH49
    It's all about wanting more for me. When I don't get the more I want, I get it from somewhere else. The easiest quickest is food.
    2391 days ago
  • AJDOVER1
    In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous there's a chapter titled "There is a Solution." The solution is using the program every day. There's no cure or quick fix. It's all about the choices we make in life every step of the way. Weight is just a symptom.
    2391 days ago
  • MOTHEPRO
    emoticon If one plan is not working, try something else. I keep trying new things and learning along the way. I keep the ideas that work for me and ditch the things that don't.
    emoticon
    2391 days ago
  • ADIOSALL
    emoticon emoticon
    2391 days ago
  • LIVE_AMAZINGLY
    I really love the effects of
    2391 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/30/2013 5:40:09 PM
  • PHATPAT18
    When one thing doesn't work, it's time to scrap it and move on. I'm sorry that following sparks doesn't do it for you. Maybe you have been starving your body for too long, so now it tries to hold on to every calorie you consume. I hope you find a successful plan. Hugs
    2391 days ago
  • DEBRA0818
    I feel for you. I think the Diet Industry is a $20 billion a year business because there are so many of us that become repeat customers. I know I looked all my life for the "right" food plan and discovered at the end of it all that, for me, food was not the issue nor were my emotional issues (got worked out in therapy years ago but I was still fat and struggling with food). It was only when I worked the 12 steps with a sponsor and had a spiritual awakening that the obsession and drive toward food was lifted. As I say, this is my solution, not everyone's, but I've found a home, hope and joy in the short time I've been in OA.
    2391 days ago
  • JOYINKY
    You learn something about yourself on every step of your journey. I will forever have to write down what I eat; it's habit now, as is counting calories and protein grams. If I make wise choices, I am not hungry. If I fill my day with things I enjoy I'm not thinking about food. At gatherings I try to focus on the people and not the food. It is still one day at a time and I'm OK with that because I now like the way I look and love the way I feel. But, having tried most of the things you mention, and lost with them; I never was able to maintain--I couldn't live that way. Fast loss is rarely better, for me it had to be a lifestyle change. My focus became health and the weight came off very slowly. Don't give up Cecelia, you will find your way. emoticon
    2391 days ago
  • CHRISTINASP
    Well, you have tried. So that's good. You learned new things and you learned that this is not for you.
    I'm interested in the book, I just found out my library has it so I reserved it and will read it soon I hope.
    My own ideas about 'what to do' regarding weight and health keep changing, as you know. Looking at my experiences I am sure that WHAT I eat makes a difference. I feel better when I eat lots of vegetables and fruits, like Fit for Life and Eat to Live prescribe. I look better, I have more energy.
    I also know that if I eat modern wheat and / or sugar, I am more likely to have binges. So WHAT I eat matters.
    But then, the binges keep coming and I think they have a psychological cause, as your author seems to imply as well. I know that I had a tough childhood and traumatic experiences. I know that I am probably 'hungry' for acceptance and that I eat to compensate, to feel 'full' when the need is really for calm, peace, and feeling accepted (maybe by myself most of all).
    As it is I try to work on both ends; the emotional issues AND on getting enough vegetables and healthy foods into me.

    Sometimes I think I need a 'food coach'. Someone I can report to every week how I'm doing and one I can mail or phone when I am in the middle of an emotional storm. I am looking into the possibility right now of getting maybe therapy. I'm not sure the kind of 'coach' / support I need exists. If it does it's probably expensive!
    2392 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/25/2013 6:40:05 AM
  • JSTETSER
    We're all looking for change.
    I'm ready for change!
    http://www.sparkpeople.c
    om/mypage_public_journal_indivi
    dual.asp?blog_id=5367303
    2392 days ago
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