Yesterday I went with a friend to walk around a neighboring town's Tulip Festival. We parked the car, walked around and marveled at the beautiful tulips, caught the Dutch dancers in the streets and couldn't help but people watch. Wooden shoes were everywhere!
Not only were tulips and wooden shoes everywhere, so were corn dogs, elephant ears and all your favorite carnival foods. Yikes! Walking back to the car we passed "food row" with all the vendors lined up. The smell of fried everything was in the air. I was salivating just walking by.
Luckily, I filled up with healthy food before I left the house, but that didn't keep me from wanting MORE - just a taste of a corn dog, or elephant ear. Right, I know that there is no just a taste - with me it's all or nothing, not to mention I would need something to wash it all down with - and it wouldn't be water! If I was able to just taste a corn dog or elephant ear I wouldn't be here trying to lose 80 lbs! Be honest with yourself Barb!!!
Hard part? Getting on the scale this morning and see it move upwards AGAIN (that is three days in a row)! Sunday I ate off plan, ate more than my normal calorie count - but not by 14,000 calories! I have been on plan, within my calorie range every day since, but the scale continues to climb.
I know some people say weight loss is a simple math equation - but this is where I argue with myself! This is where that little voice says - well, you might as well have eaten the elephant ear girlfriend - you gained the weight anyhow! 14,000 calories would have let me have both the elephant ear AND the corn dog AND the soda to wash it down! Instead, I had a slice of birthday cake (and not even a big one!) and a piece of bbq rib (not a half rack, a 3 bone piece of baby back rib). Ever feel like it's just all so unfair?
Slaps the motivation right across the face - doing the right things, getting no results; doing the right things, getting no acknowledgement. Poor me..... I better go eat! So what if I am doing the right things, what does it matter! Yup, that's where my head is.
Doing my best to tell that voice to shut the hell up and stay on track. Going out to eat tonight with friends before a concert. I have already looked at the menu and planned my choices to keep me as close to my calorie range as possible. I am going to be over by about 100 calories. I hate to think of the scale continuing the upward climb for three more days because of a night of eating out - WAIT, that hasn't happened yet. Maybe it won't. Sometimes I defeat myself before I ever leave the house!
Trying to turn around that old, ugly thought process. Sticking with this, no matter what!