Re-commitment: Turning Tomorrow into Today
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Wow... It's been awhile, huh?
A lot has changed since I was last genuinely active on SparkPeople. At this time a year ago I was finishing up the local Biggest Loser Challenge and had lost two dress sizes. I felt amazing, and I was inspired to make positive changes in other avenues of my life besides just getting healthier. I remember having so much energy. I was able to do at least some of my clothes shopping on the 'normal' side of a department store. I started caring more about my appearance in general.
I had so much energy that I didn't want to just sit at home. Plus, my free time at the gym had run out, and I knew I wasn't going to be able to afford that expenditure with just my husband's income. So after three years of being a stay at home mom, I started looking for a job.
The good news is that I found one, and I've been there for almost a year now. The bad news is that it is a desk job where I work mostly 12 hour days. (I love this schedule because it means I still get days home with my family during the week and every other weekend off too.) The bad news is that I'm sitting at my desk a lot with phones to answer and the occasional papers to shuffle. I started to do a lot of eating out of boredom. At first it wasn't so bad. I was doing relatively healthy snacks. The car dealership where I work, however, is right off the interstate. So I am, literally, surrounded by fast food places. There's a Burger King (fortunately not my favorite guilty eatery at least) located, maybe, 200 yards from where I'm sitting right now as I write this from said desk. Then there's the Speedway right next to that with the lure of candy and other things I know I shouldn't have but that are all too... convenient.
I haven't weighed myself in months, but I know that I've gained everything back and probably then some since the pants I'd once had to have belted to keep them on were cutting terribly into my belly yesterday as I sat at my desk.
I never did get a membership for the gym. There was always something else that took priority. For a while I had done well working out at home, but it just wasn't the same with my kids getting underfoot and trying to 'help'. I let it became a hassle. From there it just became another 'chore' until eventually I stopped altogether.
I stopped tracking my food so that I wouldn't have to stare my guilt and bad habits in the face. Every day I've been telling myself "I'll start again tomorrow." Of course, tomorrow turns into next week and next week turns to next month until I find myself right back where I started from if not worse.
So not tomorrow. Today.
I'm starting out small. I'm going to work on my intake of water and tracking my food. When I get home I'm going to face the scale and do SOMETHING. My kids, for instance, have been begging to go on a walk now that the weather is getting nicer, and that sounds like a good step toward 'Today'.