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Compliments

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Sometimes, I think it takes longer to 'see' results. After all, we wear the same clothes, and our friends and coworkers and even our selves see us day in and day out. The change day to day might be so tiny. But after some months, if anyone thinks to remember back, only then can see the change and it is amazing.

I am generally a quiet and private person. I don't shout to my coworkers or even friends that I am trying to lose weight. A couple of my friends and I have discussed it, but I try not to be too 'Oh I can't eat that' when I am around them. A couple coworkers know, and I'm sure a few have seen me head out to try to run (given that I do that 3 times a week at lunchtime, and its kinda obvious).

Furthermore, this is a workplace. There is some stigma against commenting on someone else's appearance, even if it is a compliment. If gender is involved, there is perhaps a risk of it being taken wrong. And even without that, there is the negative side of 'I see you are skinny now' implying that 'you were fat before'.

However, in the past 2 days, I have received 3 mentions of my weight loss. I love it, but it is strange to me. I want to ask them 'Where do you see it', 'what makes you mention it', THANK YOU FOR NOTICING! But restraint, I thank them and move on.

Here on Spark, I get to discuss and blog these things out, so I guess that is the point of this post.

So here were the compliments:
1.) I was at the water cooler waiting to fill my glass. The other lady there saw me out of the corner of her eye. She said she thought I was Debbie because I was so skinny. (Note, Debbie is skinny, and I remember that she was not always).

2.) My best friend, I was sitting in her living room, and she commented on it. She at least generally knew that I was trying to lose weight, but this is the first she mentioned it. A brief conversation followed where I revealed that I had lost 37 pounds, and that the key is consistency and commitment. I so wanted to ask her what she looked at right then that made her comment -- was it my face, my clothes, a profile or what?

3.) Today, I was getting a spoon from the kitchen. A girl that I barely ever talk to here, just came out and said 'You look great! How much have you lost?' I was happy to tell her, and that was the big smile for the day, and what sent me to write about these three incidents.

Anyway, it is nice to be noticed. Maybe not when I return from my run with a sweaty red face, but when I am getting water or a spoon or a healthy lunch, I like it!

Another thought: If any one of these people seriously came to me and said, I want to do it too, I am committed, and will you show me how ... I would rearrange my exercise schedule to accomodate them. I could run in the morning for me, so I could walk with them at lunch; I could suggest what we should bring and eat our lunch together after our walk; I could give them exercise homework and meal suggestions. Of course, that is one of the things that happens here on Spark -- we help each other, push each other, and recognize each other.









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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • K1TT3N
    emoticon This is wonderful.... I know how wonderful it feel to have someone see the changes and not always seeing them yourself and not asking anyone if they see them, and then have some one out of the blue say it is a really nice thing.
    Great Job and Keep Sparking
    2832 days ago
  • DWSCHUYLER
    You've worked hard for those compliments!

    emoticon emoticon
    2833 days ago
  • CAMETHYSTE
    Congratulations! Compliments are great, aren't they? You're doing great and people are noticing!
    2833 days ago
  • LOPEYP
    You are doing great and it's wonderful that your hard work is being noticed!! emoticon
    2833 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13590869
    How exciting when people start noticing! Great job!
    2833 days ago
  • RX_2_RV
    Those compliments were earned! Great job!
    emoticon

    2833 days ago
  • no profile photo CD9900916
    Nothing beats a compliment. It's basically a verbal pat on the back. Our efforts deserve to be acknowledged.

    I find my healthy habits are rubbing of on my husband. It hasn't been easy trying to wean him off junk food, but now that he's lost 20 lbs and is getting compliments, he is a lot more receptive to my healthy meals.

    emoticon
    2833 days ago
  • MNNICE
    Compliments are SO motivating! I found that my own brain still had a hard time registering the change, even though others noticed the change. Congratulations on your progress. You'll find that if you get a chance to spark someone else it will be even more motivating. Keep it up!!!
    2833 days ago
  • MELLOEVE
    Compliments can be a two-edged sword. On the one hand, I think I crave being noticed for the tough choices I have made, but on the other hand, I think I find myself suspicious of the underlying meaning behind them.

    It is difficult - but I hope you are able to accept them in the spirit of the words, and not what you THINK may be lying underneath. You are doing so well! Celebrate! It's OK to do that! emoticon
    2833 days ago
  • CAKEMAKERMOM
    I found that it took 30 pounds for anyone to notice. The hardest thing to do is simply say "Thank you" instead of rationalizing it out loud to the person trying to be nice, great job doing that!

    Oh, and never say "I can't eat that", just say "No thanks, I don't want that". The second way is more powerful. The first way people will try harder to "make you" eat something or think you're sick, but saying it the second way is empowering because you choose not to have something. "I can't" makes a thing more tempting, "I choose not to" makes the choice yours and you are in charge of the food instead.

    You're working hard to lose the weight, take the compliments as "You're working hard to be fit!" because that's what you're doing!
    2833 days ago
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