I exist in the sheltering eye of a storm right now in regards to food, weight loss and body image. I know that I am not losing weight at any supersonic, accelerated pace, but I know that like the song by Gary Clark, "Things are Changing."
Things are peacefully and gently shifting both physically and mentally.
"Ooh baby things are changing now
Things are changing now and I can't tell
Where I'll be from here on out"
I know things are a changing, because I can read the book, "Fat Girl" by Judith Moore with an unflinching gaze. It is touching me. But it is not destroying me. I know I could not have read this book two years ago or even a year ago. It would have hurt too much. I picked it up as ancillary research for another writing project I am working on.
Here is a review:
Fat Girl is a black diamond, revealing its hard brilliance only when you accept its invitation to descend into the soul of the loneliest little girl in the world. When you reach the center, the microscope becomes a wide-angle lens, suffusing your spirit with rage and mourning. Fat Girl is to-the-marrow honesty and monumental courage. It stuns, shocks, and saddens. It's the true blues ... because you know it's the truth. A magnificent achievement. —Andrew Vachss
Here are some excerpts online:
The prologue drew me in.
The first chapter made me want to cry.
Made me cry.
Made me sit down and write this blog.
Because for this moment in time, I can read "Fat Girl" with some distance between me and this sad story that by the author's own admission, does not end happily.
She writes in her prologue: "I mistrust real-life stories that conclude on a triumphant note. Rockettes will not arrive on the final page and kick up their high heels and show petticoats. This is a story about an unhappy fat girl who became a fat woman who was happy and unhappy."
And I feel compelled to respond that I want Rockettes to arrive on the final page of my story. I want them to kick up their heels and to show petticoats. I want a freaking ticker tape parade. I want a Blue Angels fly over and a 21 gun salute. I want the armistice I have so painstakingly forged between myself and my scale, and food and the old me and the new me to last forever.
And I genuinely, with all my heart and soul want everyone's story to end that way also.
That's it. That's all I have to say about that.
Let's keep ...
((¸¸.•´ ..•´ Spreading the Spark!-:¦:-