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Sunday, April 07, 2013

I’ll take ownership of that! I did it! I was wrong! I made a good choice! I will take ownership of what happened.

On “Project Runway” recently, stern but glamorous fashion model Heidi Klum asked contestants to “take ownership” of their work—whether it was flawed or divine. I realised that I habitually don't take ownership of much in my life.

I never really took ownership of my body and its weight. I used to say and think and even believe at some level things like: “Those cookies FLEW into my shopping cart” or “Those potato chips BEGGED to find a new home with us”. “Ben and Jerry insisted on being my therapist”. “That candy ended up in my shopping bag via a stealth mission of which I was unaware”.

I gained so much weight because fattening food aggressively insisted on entering my body and I had to stand by, passively obeying the tyranny of the pushy white carbs. It was not my fault that a “corps de doughnuts” ended up in my kitchen dancing enticingly tempting ballets. But I never said: “Those carrots bludgeoned their way into my shopping cart” or “That celery insisted on coming home with me.” The mind is selective, indeed.

I’ve been doing well recently and I have the same kind of passive sensibility: “My dryer insists on making things bigger, not shrinking things”. “My underpants insist on falling to the floor when I put them on”. “My blue jeans did not play fair—they won’t stay up anymore”. Then there’s “The elliptical machine just decided to get a lot easier” or “The treadmill gave up providing resistence and its inclines are no good.”
It’s all one. I am the unwitting passive victim of aggressive food that is begging to be eaten; now that I am losing weight I am the unwitting victim of clothing that fails to fit.

I’ve got to take ownership of this! I gained weight because I made some desperate choices. I have lost some weight because I made some good choices. The potato chips never entered into a conspiracy with the cookies to get adopted. My clothing never entered into an initiative with the dryer to get bigger. And the gym equipment never made tacit agreements to “get easier”.

Yes, it’s time to take ownership of my body, its weight, and its ability to work out better and harder. Yes, it’s time to take ownership of what ends up in my shopping cart.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • POPSY190
    It's amazing the things the mind can get up to when we allow it to run riot! Lots of honesty mixed with humour here - an irresistible combination!
    2986 days ago
    Thanks for this! I need to own my life!

    BTW -- Mr. Penumbra's 24-hour Bookstore is great fun, if you like that sort of book --
    2988 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8522718
    Great attitude, taking responsibility is important, in all facets of life!

    Big emoticon
    2990 days ago
    You are doing amazing!! I hope your clothes keep falling off..............in private - I hate to stumble across someone's big panties they walked out of. LOL.
    2991 days ago
    Interesting! I have no problem blaming myself for all the bad things done, but much harder to take credit for things achieved...
    2991 days ago
    LOL - love it! How true!
    2991 days ago
  • -POOKIE-
    You are very right, the only person who makes you eat anything is yourself.
    2993 days ago
    and what about those jeans that stretch! They don't make denim like they used to (that yes used to get looser but shrunk back in the wash).... And these clothing manufacturers are making sizes bigger as a psychological conspiracy to convince me to buy their things ...
    Great to take ownership - but even better to not be one of those people that quickly and readily claim credit for good things (even when it wasn't theirs)....
    2993 days ago
  • 4CYNDI
    Great Aha! moment! This is something that I deal with from time to time. It's like I'm a victim in my own life. I'm trying to take full responsibility for my life & my actions. I am where I am today because of the choices I've made either actively or passively.

    Thanks for sharing!
    2993 days ago
    I just love this blog, and I say that even though I try not to say love in relation to non-sentient objects. Such true words, and true sentiments.
    2993 days ago
    Oh my. You do have a way with words. Just when I had myself convinced that there was a conspiracy at my house, you had to burst my balloon with that nasty word "responsibility".

    ow I have to find the intestinal fortitude to accept that my choices, both good and bad, have led me to this spot. It will also be my choices that affect the future. Heavy!
    2994 days ago
    Natalie, I am finding it helpful to toss weight loss in with other monumental accomplishments, like finishing my dissertation and quitting cigarettes and completing the Annapurna Circuit in Nepal. It is true that the first things happened a long time ago (Annapurna, by contrast, was 2009), but I look to all of them as proof that I am someone who can set her mind to a task and accomplish it. And indeed, weight loss happens at the same deliberate (and occasionally miserable) pace as writing, overcoming addiction, and crossing high passes. So I applaud your decision to own up to your responsibility and encourage you to own up to your significant --and probably proven-- ability to meet your goals!

    2994 days ago
  • no profile photo CD11283527
    Wonderful attitude for the new you.
    2994 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    2994 days ago
  • no profile photo HPSANDDOLLAR
    2994 days ago
  • LE7_1234
    2994 days ago
    everything is relative. it's the relativity you choose, and your imagination is relatively wild, my dear. make the best of it!
    and thanks for the birthday wishes!
    2994 days ago
  • no profile photo CD11712373
    Lets have a bad food burn out! Go through the cabinets, pull out the temptations, and then throw them in the fire! Watch it burn baby! Then let the fire spread to your heart and get your inner inferno going! emoticon

    2994 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/7/2013 9:48:22 AM
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