Looked in the Mirror... and I just looked Normal :-)
Friday, April 05, 2013
Yesterday I was at the gym. When I finished putting my things into the locker I went to a mirror to put my hair in a bun and that's when I realized I just looked normal.
I realized for the first time in 7 years I looked at myself in the mirror and didn't complain.
At heavier weights I wouldn't want to look in the mirror. Because I would look at the mirror and see my chubby face. I'd see my arms wiggle or my protruding belly. I didn't like it so I would avoid looking.
Funny thing is I have lost 50lbs now. I stepped on the scale and for once I wasn't stressed about the number. I looked at my appearance in the mirror and initially I was concerned that the looseness in the bust of the shirt was revealing too much. But as I stood there assessing and putting my hair up I realized NOTHING CHANGED!!!!!!
My face is less chubby, but my arms still wiggle more than I would like. My stomach is still not flat... but I just felt normal. I used to feel like I was overweight. Like people were spending their time judging me or laughing to themselves. I realize that it is just my own self conscience fears ravaging my mind. But for one day those fears were silenced and I could just be at peace.
:-) and I liked it alot.
I know that no battle is won in a day. I've come a long way in the last 8 months and I still have work to do, mentally and physically. But yesterday I had a breakthrough and I look forward to making another and another and another...
On another note... I've come to other conclusions about my life. I've started a journey to getting my finances in order and have started a blog. The future is out there. I feel like I can grab onto all my hopes and dreams. I can achieve all that I ever dreamed. All I have to do is be patient and be smart. A lil wisdom goes a long way