SP Premium
250,000-299,999 SparkPoints 277,816


Monday, March 25, 2013

My daughter arrives with a bus 11.55 today - tha means I can´t attend the AA lunch meeting I usually go to mondays.No biggie, it is just that I got reminded that when I first got sober I was really scared for relapse and listened hard to those coming back from relapses and trying to get sober again - and they all said that it started with not attending AA meetings. So I thought that I would be safe as long as I attend meetings.

I have a little problem with my alcoholism - it never went overboard with me. When I stopped drinking it was only me being worried and I have gotten a lot of comments afterwards from people that think I was overreacting as they had never thought I had any problems. And this is not denial, I am still not biologically addicted, I can share communion and I can have cough medicin with alcholol without geting cravings - I can´t drink soically, because I am a very typical on-off person. It was the same with smoking, I could not smoke the nice four cigaretes a day - when I smoked I smoked and the solution was to stop entirely.

Now and then I fool myself that I could drink just on special occasions - and maybe I could, but it would be like having dynamite in the closet without knowing if or when it would exlode. AND as I have his suicidal streak I should stay away from all things that makes my mind more uncontrolled.

Easter is coming up - I just got invited to a "easterbreakfast" - at eleven and there will probably be a lot of alcohol. I can´t say that I look forward to it but I sometimes feel that I am getting to odd, daughter needs to see that I do "normal" things also...

And I have a lamb steak left - maybe I´ll invite some people over during easter also - but then I need to combine it with something more than just eating... that is a rather boring occupation mostly, you get disgustedly full and go home burping...
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Take one day at a time.

    2427 days ago
    I have been sober for 11 years and I have the same thoughts at times as well. yes I think I can have just one. But that is my disease talking, and I know that's my disease talking. I had to pick up the set of spiritual tools that was given to me.
    Make sure that you have your own way out. I always have to make sure that I have a way out of every situation. I never go somewhere unless I make sure I can out of the situation if I am not comfortable. As far as others drinking, I don't find that a problem, I have my own drinks, water and ice tea.
    Hope you have a great Easter. emoticon
    2428 days ago
  • no profile photo INDIBLUE7240
    I'm almost 13 years sober and I sometimes think that I might be able to handle it if I only drank on special occasions, of course, that's not possible, but I think those thoughts will always be there for me. When I'm in social gatherings, what helps me is always having something non alcoholic in my hand, ice tea, water, coffee, etc. I have someone in my family who doesn't believe that I have been sober for so long, it's this person who keeps me going, I wouldn't want to give them the satisfaction of relapsing.

    I wish you the best! Sounds like you have a good plan. Happy Easter!
    2428 days ago
    Sounds like you have a plan! Follow through, have a pleasant Easter holiday with your daughter....

    huggssss emoticon
    2428 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/25/2013 10:50:39 AM
    Have a Happy Easter; whatever that means to you. I'm not an alcoholic; but I don't like being around "a lot of alcohol". It's just not fun. I'm more comfortable in smaller settings. Enjoy your weekend.
    2428 days ago
    A meeting can be 2 alcoholics talking so if you miss the nooner to pick up your daughter then pick up the phone instead. Touch base with your sponsor or another member.
    As for your not being an alcoholic, you can test it by drinking. Problem is that if you are an alcoholic you might not make it back.
    As for the brunch with alcohol at Easter, it is not something my family would do. We might overeat, laugh and have an Easter egg hunt for the little ones but no booze. How do you want to spend your Easter? It is about what you think and want. It is not up to others or their opinions.
    Good luck.
    2428 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/25/2013 8:21:15 AM
    I don't know you, but I know plenty of people who drink and shouldn't be. I admire your honesty with yourself and your holding your own in a world full of drinking. I try to visit quickly at events that are too alcohol laden. It's fun to talk to people before they get have drunk too much and boring when they have. Good luck to you. Whenever we go against the social grain it takes courage.
    2428 days ago
    Do you have bubbling cranberry juice or something like that available? I like to bring a festive faux champaign along so everyone can join in the festivities and not have to drink alcohol to feel like part of the party.
    2428 days ago
    You are a very creative person. I'm sure you can come up with fun ideas to make Easter about more than eating! Good luck!
    2428 days ago
    If you think it will really bother you then I wouldnt go to the easter breakfast.
    Stay strong and have nice visit wirh your daughter. hugsssss
    2428 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.