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Screwed Up.

Friday, March 01, 2013

So yesterday was a mess.
I didn't go to the gym, I didn't even change out of my pajamas!
I didn't do any homework, though I did email my teacher explaining about my hand (which does feel a bit better today)
I didn't track my calories (which were abundant) or my steps (which were minimal).

While I am annoyed with myself, I promised I'd be forgiving of myself and not be to upset about it.
I just found out we don't leave here until like 7pm on Sunday so I'm hoping I can get to the gym before we leave.
I'm going today too. I was supposed to go this morning but Ken left without me. (Even though I told him last night I really wanted to go with him)
But I'm going to go.
I had a day of junk food and laziness and that day is over now.
I'm going to shower, eat a healthy meal, go the gym, make a tasty salad and a healthy dinner.
Ken is going out to dinner with our friend Meghan and I think he assumes I'm going but I don't really want to. Not only do I have lots to catch up on now, but I also just want some time alone.
I'm really excited for this trip to California because I'll have some time away from Ken that I desperately need.
This might sound harsh, but he works from home, I am home all day. It gets annoying.

So, I'm still in a cranky mood, but I'm hoping some cardio and weights will help that.

Edit: So now I'm not going to the gym. Ughhh!!! I'm in such a bad mood and I can't snap out of it!! I really wish I had some friends to talk to. I can't believe I'm 28 years old and I have no close friends. How did that happen? I feel like I'm going through some sort of crisis, though I'm hoping I'm just overreacting.

Ken wants me to go with him and our friend Meghan to dinner. I told him I couldn't but he won't let it go. They are going to Milwaukie for dinner and they are leaving at 4 to beat traffic. But that basically means I don't have access to the car tonight and I only have 2 hours to do all the homework that's piling up because of my hand. I'm so damn annoyed with everything and I just want to escape. I appreciate that people on Spark are caring and understanding but it's not the same as having a friend to talk to about all of this.

I don't know why I'm letting myself get all worked up over this. I need to chill. If I look at the long view, my priorities are to do well in school and get healthy. If that means missing a dinner when I'm obviously in too bad of a mood to even enjoy it, then so be it.

Ok, I don't know why I edited this, I guess I needed to vent or something.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    you sound so much like me, i'm 34 and still can't figure out where all my friends have gone, I never really had many in the first place but it seems I have none. and although spark is a great resource for some encouragement its not the same as having a good friend to talk to. All I can really say is that the venting is good and you can do this. even though I don't know you I have faith in you, always make you and your goals number one, it's really important to care about you before you care about someone else.
    2517 days ago
    You may have fell, but don't let yourself fail. Get back up and keep going. emoticon
    2522 days ago
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