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Screwed Up.

Friday, March 01, 2013

So yesterday was a mess.
I didn't go to the gym, I didn't even change out of my pajamas!
I didn't do any homework, though I did email my teacher explaining about my hand (which does feel a bit better today)
I didn't track my calories (which were abundant) or my steps (which were minimal).

While I am annoyed with myself, I promised I'd be forgiving of myself and not be to upset about it.
I just found out we don't leave here until like 7pm on Sunday so I'm hoping I can get to the gym before we leave.
I'm going today too. I was supposed to go this morning but Ken left without me. (Even though I told him last night I really wanted to go with him)
But I'm going to go.
I had a day of junk food and laziness and that day is over now.
I'm going to shower, eat a healthy meal, go the gym, make a tasty salad and a healthy dinner.
Ken is going out to dinner with our friend Meghan and I think he assumes I'm going but I don't really want to. Not only do I have lots to catch up on now, but I also just want some time alone.
I'm really excited for this trip to California because I'll have some time away from Ken that I desperately need.
This might sound harsh, but he works from home, I am home all day. It gets annoying.

So, I'm still in a cranky mood, but I'm hoping some cardio and weights will help that.

Edit: So now I'm not going to the gym. Ughhh!!! I'm in such a bad mood and I can't snap out of it!! I really wish I had some friends to talk to. I can't believe I'm 28 years old and I have no close friends. How did that happen? I feel like I'm going through some sort of crisis, though I'm hoping I'm just overreacting.

Ken wants me to go with him and our friend Meghan to dinner. I told him I couldn't but he won't let it go. They are going to Milwaukie for dinner and they are leaving at 4 to beat traffic. But that basically means I don't have access to the car tonight and I only have 2 hours to do all the homework that's piling up because of my hand. I'm so damn annoyed with everything and I just want to escape. I appreciate that people on Spark are caring and understanding but it's not the same as having a friend to talk to about all of this.

I don't know why I'm letting myself get all worked up over this. I need to chill. If I look at the long view, my priorities are to do well in school and get healthy. If that means missing a dinner when I'm obviously in too bad of a mood to even enjoy it, then so be it.

Ok, I don't know why I edited this, I guess I needed to vent or something.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CHARITYHOWELL79
    you sound so much like me, i'm 34 and still can't figure out where all my friends have gone, I never really had many in the first place but it seems I have none. and although spark is a great resource for some encouragement its not the same as having a good friend to talk to. All I can really say is that the venting is good and you can do this. even though I don't know you I have faith in you, always make you and your goals number one, it's really important to care about you before you care about someone else.
    2517 days ago
  • CHRISBEM
    You may have fell, but don't let yourself fail. Get back up and keep going. emoticon
    2522 days ago
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