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SABOTAGE!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

I’m having a terrible time staying focused with my eye on that prize weight of 199 (first big goal)

I want nothing more than to reach my 10% goal weight of 199 in the next few months. So why do I keep sabotaging myself???

I lost 3.6 pounds not last week but the week before making me 210. Then, I weighed myself this morning and I weighed 214! WHAT! WHYYYY!

I know why, really. I can tell you why in fact. I haven’t exercised since last week, I haven’t been planning ahead, I haven’t been careful and I’ve gotten a lot of candy/chocolate and they were really good.

So, I know why and I suppose that’s the first step. And for the most part I have tracked everything and you can tell by my tracking that I’ve clearly done a terrible job at eating well this week.

The husband hasn’t really been watching either. I’m hoping for us to sit down tonight and go over some of the plan together and work on measuring everything we cook tonight so he can really see portion sizes as well as remind me of portions.

I also want to throw away any candy in the house. I had enough! I don’t need anymore! My desk at work is free of it except for some candy canes but they’re not appealing to me. They’re for visitors.

I know that a large part of my sabotaging is due to living with Grandma. She’ll make us dinner and she’s old school, southern cooking. Lots of butter, adds sugar to things that don’t need sugar (like spaghetti and chili) and doesn’t see the need to make things healthy..she focuses on taste.

Well, last night she made chili. It tasted GREAT but I didn’t need to top it with cheese and crackers and I definately could’ve had a smaller portion of the spaghetti noodles and had more chili which is more protein. But, I didn’t. WHY! I was in a good mood and it was there and yummy and, oh, I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

Grandma made dinner because she thought it would be nice for us to not have to cook dinner after a full day at work. It is nice. I am SO thankful for her. And I can eat these things, I just need to figure out what is better and measure these out.

We’re looking at a place tonight that we hope might be the place we move to in the next month or so. I know that once we move out it’ll get a little easier.

As long as my husband can get on board even further with me it’ll be really easy. And, if he doesn’t that’s fine. I’ll figure it out.

I have to figure it out. I need to lose weight and become a healthier person. I have so much to do in life and I can’t be worried about my health as much!

I need some motivation but I am so not looking forward to going to my meeting this week and seeing the number on the scale jump back up.

My plan for tonight is to go home and take a look at the things in the kitchen. I’m going to make my lunch and get rid of any food in the house I don’t need/want and then work with EJ on things we can change together.

I KNOW I can do this but it’s going to take time and effort.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • YOGAANDBIKE
    Sending you good judgement! Not that I have it all the time, mind you!
    3064 days ago
  • BREN14224
    you'll get there. I live with a sabotager so I know what you're going through. it's tough but it can be done. if you're going to have that one splurge dish then you have to plan rest of your menu for that day around it and workout, workout, workout! even if you only have time for 10 minutes, it's better than nothing!
    3066 days ago
  • KJMPEACHES
    emoticon Make smaller goals. Away from eating. That helps.
    emoticon emoticon Happy Holidays!
    3066 days ago
  • STODD251
    You can do it. It's hard and people might act upset if you choose to make healthier choices, but ultimately you have to make the best choice for yourself so you can live a long, healthy life. emoticon
    3066 days ago
  • PATRICIACAN2012
    You can do it! I know that I have a hard time focusing on what to eat to. I know the feeling that is for sure. Stay motivated Keep tracking and each day is a new day. emoticon
    3066 days ago
  • GNISULA
    emoticon
    3066 days ago
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