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I'm Awesome - Spose (Explicit Lyrics in link)

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

"Now put your hands up if you have nightmares
If you wouldn't man-up if there was a fight here
If you got dandruff, if you drink light beer
I'm out of breath (but)

I'm awesome, no, you're not, dude, don't lie
I'm awesome, I'm drivin' around in my mom's ride
I'm awesome, a quarter of my life gone by
And I met all my friends online

******* I'm awesome, I will run away from a brawl
I'm awesome, there's no voicemail, nobody called
I'm awesome, I can't afford to buy eight-balls
And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall

Yesterday's challenge was to write a paragraph praising myself. I pondered and thought, procrastinated and hedged, and could not for the life of me (yesterday) come up with anything that felt genuinely awesome. Anything that I had actually accomplished myself that made me feel proud.

I guess it was just a down day, huh?

I am proud of myself for showing up and finishing the Warrior Dash. I had a back injury and couldn't complete some of the obstacles, but it was *still* an up-hill 5k at a ski course and I DID do a majority of the obstacles - including wading through a mud pit and leaping over fire.

Of course, the people who were supposed to do it with me ditched me to do it by myself, and Jeff couldn't come watch because he was at work, and my parents who came to see me finish ended up in a huge embarrassing public fight because my dad didn't want to pay $6 for a beer and would rather go home to drink. I think he was there for about 20 minutes.

F'n deflated. Ruined the whole experience, more like. Yes, I am proud of myself for finishing, but every time I think of the Warrior Dash I remember what it feels like to be left behind by people that said they would be there for you and what it felt like to be humiliated by fighting parents. I need to find something else to be proud of that wholly my own.

- I take good care of my cats.
- I'm a good cook
- I'm generous to a fault
- I'm kind
- I'm strong - in the personality department.
- I'm persistent. For all the times I've given up, I'm still here.
- I aim to please
- I'm good at finding discounts
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm glad you figured out it was just a down day-- that is something that would totally happen to me. Today is one of those days where I have nothing that I'm excited about or any kind of interesting thing to talk about-- just kind of blah without really blah? Yeah, makes sense right? hahaha

    As for your Warrior Dash experience.... what comes to mind is this: You are the only person you can count on- meaning that you can't allow others to take you down like that (that thing with your Dad reminds me a lots of "Mom" moments in my life)-- so you know what? Next time, just don't invite them. It sucks that it's not as simple as being able to count on your parents to come and show up for you and make the day be about you, but in this case, it wasn't, so I would suggest that you just send them a pic next time. Being proud of yourself while doing it on your own, is something that no one can ever ruin for you! So forget others and once you do... you might surprise yourself by finding like minded people to share your success with!
    3073 days ago
  • BOOTS1221
    I'm glad you were able to write this blog Megs! I hope you always remember those positive things about yourself because you ARE an amazing person. You can't control what other people do (ditching you, fighting, etc), but you can control how you feel about it. I'm glad you were able to find some positives. Focus on those girl and keep being who you are, cuz methinks you're pretty fab :)
    3075 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2146211
    Yay for this blog! I'm glad you were able to really think about what you have accomplished, what you do well, and how far you have come. Sometimes it's hard to ignore the big picture and focus on your growth rather than where you want to go. And, as hard as it may sound, don't let your parents or your friends ruin the Warrior Dash for you! That's a HUGE accomplishment! Not only does it take strength and endurance, but it takes GUTS. And you're the one that showed up. You can't control other peoples' actions. That was your moment, so don't let them take it away from you.

    3075 days ago
    Awesome job Meg, I really like your list of positives. And I HATE when you have an experience that was supposed to be awesome, and you look back and are "sort of" thrilled with it, but really something(someones) ruined it and you can't look back on it with the same pride/joy.

    and you are great at sending letters in the mail... you are my role model. I am the worst. Confession: I still have Christy's secret santa gift that I bought for her 2 years ago... somewhere... lost when I moved, but I remember packing it. some day Christy, you will get something awesome in the mail totally out of the blue (probably in another 2 years when you have totally forgotten about it).
    3075 days ago
    Love your positives, Meg. :) It is so hard sometimes(on a bad day) to think of why we are proud of who we are. You've got a lot of strengths- I hope you learn to embrace them more frequently! emoticon
    3075 days ago
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