A HUGE Realization
Wednesday, November 07, 2012
Sitting here at work seven days into the new month and still trying to finish the month-end from last month. The stress level which was so high on Monday I thought I might have another stroke has settled down to a reasonable level which I guess is what allowed my mind to wander into memories of my childhood and how most of my happiest memories were those times with family and food. I distinctly remember the trips to Zider Zee and the Japanese restaurant in Omaha and the fabulous Sunday brunch/lunch buffet at Waltz and Marys. It was not always going out, we had many dinners at the kitchen table where the whole family was laughing and really enjoying each other's company during and after dinner. This just confirms what has been hidden, maybe suppressed is a better term, deep down inside of me, I eat, think about food, want to go to a restaurant or try to feed other people constantly as a way of putting some resemblance of happiness into my life. It is not doing the trick and I know that, but for some reason it is like a person beating their head against a wall hoping the next time won’t hurt. Now that this light bulb came on and I have put roots to my problem maybe I am on my way to solving the issue that entangles me and keeps me from losing all of this excess weight. I keep repeating “Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes” and carry on.