20120916 Stress Journal 1/3
Sunday, September 16, 2012
In short, the last few weeks have been awful. Three weeks? Sigh.
My husband's grandmother, whom we spent as much time as possible with these past few years (she's just THAT cool) had a stroke and didn't survive it. It took these past three weeks for the whole process. Husband had just had his birthday, she'd just had hers (80th) and she passed on our anniversary.
Besides our own grief, Husband is also dealing with the paperwork aspect of the thing. You always see those will readings on bad TV shows where someone gets uppity and complains about this or that, turning a sad thing into an angry thing, and he's working hard to avoid that.
In the middle of it all is still university. He's working on master's level courses while working as a tutor and teacher's assistant, to fulfill the requirements of his PhD program, and I'm doing full-time coursework this semester. Two of my classes are heavy, and two light but requiring significant reading). It's been... time-consuming.
We've both been depressed and tired all the time. He's been going to bed really early but waking up groggily. I can't seem to fall asleep and then sleep through the alarm. We're relying on caffeine throughout the day and then comfort food/drink at night. We looked at our budget and found that we've gone more than slightly over. The first week we ate out almost every night, and the nights we didn't we ate leftovers from the nights we did. We put our diet on lock this past week, but our PT is still shaky.
I feel a little bad for thinking that I can't wait until this part is all over. The part where she's gone doesn't feel real. There's still a part of my brain where I'm looking forward to our trip to the other coast of Florida, and reminding myself that I have to get this VHS back to her.
I don't have anything useful to say on the subject. I'm just, journaling, which means putting in writing what floats through my head so I can look back at it later and adjust. I don't think I can adjust this part. The food and PT we started to adjust as soon as we saw it, and the rest of it, (shrug) will flow as it will.
The first time we go camping or rafting again, that, will really be the hardest I think. I hope we don't put it too long. She'd be upset if we did.