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What's Left of Me

Thursday, September 13, 2012

As I walked yesterday, I listened to my iPod as usual. Suddenly a song came on that felt so real and true to how I've been feeling.... I ended up listening to it over an over again...

Nick Lachey... What's Left of Me

www.youtube.com/watch?v=
899a8WlVpNk


emoticon LYRICS:

Watch my life,
Pass me by,
In the rear view mirror
Pictures frozen in time
Are becoming clearer
I don't wanna waste another day
Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes

Yeah...

[Chorus]
Cause I want you,
And I feel you,
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger,
Like a burning,
To find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken,
And I'm faded,
I'm half the man I thought I would be:
But you can have what's left of me

I've been dying inside,
Little by little,
No where to go,
But going out of my mind
In endless circles,
Running from my self until,
You gave me a reason for standing still

[Chorus]

It's falling faster,
Barely breathing,
Give me something,
To believe in
Tell me: It's not all in my head

Take what's left
Of this man
Make me whole
Once again

[Chorus]

I've been dying inside you see
I'm going out of my mind
Out of my mind
I'm just running in circles all the time
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left of me?
Just running in circles in my mind
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left of me?
emoticon


Now, I am aware that this is supposed to be a love song... about a broken man who is falling back in love and is hoping to be accepted even though he doesn't quite feel whole.

But to me, I was feeling like, I could apply it to myself.

1. The first verse... I have indeed watched my life pass me by and I don't want to live in the shadow of my mistakes anymore.

2. The second verse... I've been running away from myself but as the saying goes.... "everywhere you go, there you are". I've been dying inside, figuratively and quite literally. I realize I have to face myself and my fears.

3. The chorus.... Oh the chorus... the "you" part... for me isn't my love interest, or well maybe it should be... it's the love I want to give to me, myself. It's the person I want to be. The confident, healthy and happy woman that is dying to emerge.

"Cause I want you, and I feel you, Crawling underneath my skin...."
I feel her, she wants out...

"Like a hunger, Like a burning, To find a place I've never been..."
Yes! I've never been thin or even average, and definitely not healthy. I want to be there, healthy and beautiful.

"Now I'm broken, And I'm faded, I'm half the man (in my case, girl/woman) I thought I would be, but you can have what's left of me...."
I have to give what is left of my strength and love to myself and I have to accept that I am deserving of that even though my inner demons and past dialog tell me otherwise.

.......
"It's falling faster,
Barely breathing,
Give me something,
To believe in
Tell me: It's not all in my head"

The happier healthier me isn't just an unattainable dream, right?
I need to find something to make me believe that I can do this.
I need to find that strength, that belief, that faith....








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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • JUST-DUCKY
    It feels like you talked to my soul with this blog. I know that sounds odd, but I don't know how to explain it.


    3138 days ago
  • MDGARDENGIRL
    So thought provoking and beautiful Marissa..... just like you!

    xoxoxo Marg
    3156 days ago
  • _BELINDA
    Very well said.
    I feel your pain and your strength.
    You can do this.
    3156 days ago
  • CHRISTIANAPOLLO
    What an amazing song and what an amazing person you are!! It made me teary eyed just reading. This was so inspirational.. not just to you.. but to us too. You deserve the best girl, GO GET IT!!! :)
    3156 days ago
  • CHUBRUB3
    Music speaks to our soul and to be able to connect as you have is a powerful thing. Take heed and give it your all to love yourself and take life by the horns.
    Hugs Marisa, you are so very deserving of love of yourself.
    Angela
    3156 days ago
  • KATE_70
    Music is a powerful thing. Thanks for sharing this piece
    3156 days ago
  • FORBANDE
    What a great interpretation of this song! I love how music has a way of being so incredibly relatable.

    You are wonderful and beautiful. I believe in you. :)


    3157 days ago
  • ISAVEDME80
    I like the lyrics I read them but I can't make myself listen to sad songs anymore.

    You should go read my last blog....You are amazing....


    You my friend are beautiful....Time to love who you are now....
    If you cant love you now, no amount of weight coming off will change this.
    I think you are beautiful, God knows you are,
    And you need to tell yourself this daily....
    God loves you, And he knows your heart is aching to relearn this love that is hiding within your soul.....

    I know this might sound silly but every day do one small thing to make you happy.
    Could be something as small as using lip gloss or taking extra time in the shower....
    Just any form of self love will start you on the road to believing in you.
    You are an amazing person I know this and you will always be amazing...
    Believe that with all your heart and you can do anything.


    3157 days ago
  • WORLDSERIES11
    This was beautiful!!! This 1st verse so applies to me...."don't want to watch life pass me by... and living in the shadows of my mistakes." That's one of my greatest motivations for joining SP, to get beyond my past and move forward in my life.
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts and LOVE the motivational saying!!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3157 days ago
  • DIETER27
    great blog! I like your sayings also. Have a nice day!
    3157 days ago
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