Hurt Thumb, Blah Days & Deal I Made...
Sunday, August 19, 2012
So Thursday night I cut my thumb by...well... being an idiot. I have this tall vase that is about 3 feet. I bought some pebbles and potpourri to fill it with. I didn't put too many pebbles and I did it very carefully. As I was filling it with potpourri, the bottom broke out from under it. That would have been fine except I couldn't leave well enough alone. Add on the fact that I'm already pretty clumsy and this is clearly a recipe for disaster. I wanted to see if the bottom could still fit back together, and in case you were wondering it can. I thought I was holding it tight enough and when I went to turn it over it slipped and I now have a huge gash in my right thumb. Over an inch long and pretty deep. I didn't go to get stitches and my mom agreed it should heal on its own. I am not looking forward to yet another scar, mainly because it'll remind me of my stupidity LOL. Doh.
Before that on Thursday, I had a great day out with my friends. Grilled cheese and fries for dinner and later an ice cream sundae from Denny's. It was a planned in advance treat day, and I still managed about 1800 calories, maybe closer to 1900 because I had to guess on the grilled cheese. But I have just been feeling blah. I have no valid reasons for it. I think the thumb thing triggered some sort of stress or pitty response from me, and I wanted to go and eat even more crap Thursday night but I made myself go to bed instead. That was a small victory. I ate well yesterday and today but still the blahs continue.
So this deal I made with my Gammie, and I basically thought it up and she is holding me to it... is that whenever I feel blah and I feel like you know what, I don't want to work at this weight loss stuff RIGHT NOW, I am not in the mood... that whatever weight I am at at that very moment, I will have to at least work to maintain. So if I decide this week I'm just not doing this, that means I need to maintain my 230lbs that I am right now. I checked a maintenance calculator and that puts me at about 2282. The funny part is I saw that number and I thought "well I don't want to eat THAT much". LOL.
I fully intend to push past the blahs, and just keep moving forward, but it's good to know that if I decide to take a "vacation" from weight loss, that it's not a free pass to go around gorging myself and eating whatever I want. I will still have to track all of my food and work at maintaining my current weight. The best part is, if this happens I know it won't be more than a week, because I will have to be doing the parts that I don't always like (tracking and not eating EVERYTHING), so I know it'll quickly make me want to be back on to the losing side of this journey. :)