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Hurting in My Heart...

Friday, August 10, 2012

A few months ago, I met someone on here that i thought had great potential of being a good friend. After a week or so and reading a few blogs, I had a gut feeling (you know that one you get that is usually right? Yeah that one.) that I had to be careful with this person. That feeling deep down that told me that if I wasn't careful, I could get hurt.

I ignored that gut reaction. My heart just wanted to be a friend to her. To listen and support her in every way that I knew how. My heart and soul really wanted to reach out to her and hold her close and let her know that everything was okay and that she wasn't alone. This was genuine, this is who I am and who I am proud to be.

After a couple of weeks, we became closer. We shared. We attempted to bond and we were doing alright at doing so. However, soon after I started getting hints of rude behavior from her. Also, she tended to have unpleasantly askew point of views and was quite negative most of the time. I started to realize it was wearing on me. So, that gut feeling started reminding me of my initial thoughts and I was starting to regret ignoring them.

I admit I scolded myself, once again, for feeling this way and told myself that I was taking things too personally or perhaps being too critical. So again, I continued to try and be a friend to her but I do think I was becoming more reserved. I still talked to her regularly and then one day, I didn't agree with something she said or didn't instantly validate her feelings about something and Whoa! My head could have rolled if it wasn't attached to my body. She snapped at me. That is when I knew I couldn't get any more emotionally involved than I already was and that I had to pull away a bit.

Please don't get me wrong, I was nor will I ever be rude or hurtful toward her. I just didn't talk as much and listened when I could. I was pulling away and keeping my distance. I couldn't ignore my gut any longer. I've been burned too many times before for doing that. So, I just kindly responded to messages, short and sweet and continued with my day. I'm too busy to cater to much more than that right now any way, not to her, not to anyone.

Anyway, a few days ago, I posted this on my facebook page and tagged my teenage son in it...



In case you can't see it, this is what it says...

~~~~~
WORDS FOR TEENAGERS...
Northland College principal John Tapene has offered the following words from a judge who regularly deals with youth. "Always we hear the cry from teenagers, 'what can we do, where can we go?"
"My answer is this: Go home, mow the lawn, wash the windows, learn to cook, build a raft, get a job, visit the sick, study your lessons and after you've finished, read a book. Your town does not owe you recreational facilities and your parents do not owe you fun.
"The world does not owe you a living, you owe the world something. You owe it your time, energy and talent so that no one will be at war, in sickness and lonely again. In other words grow up, stop being a cry baby, get out of your dream world and develop a backbone not a wishbone. Start behaving like a responsible person. You are important and you are needed. It's too late to sit around and wait for somebody to do something someday. Someday is now and that somebody is you!"
~~~~~

Now, I personally think there is truth in this. Hard cold truth. So many teenagers just sit back and expect the luxuries of life without doing anything to earn them... but I digress, this is a totally different issue...

So, this posting lead to a debate that turned nasty rather quickly. Out of control nasty and I did my best to defuse the situation in the most respectful and kind manner that I could think of. Yes, it involved the person I mentioned above, that "friend" and a couple of my real life friends and even my teenage son.

Everyone felt, whether it was the tone this person was speaking in or whether they felt like I was being criticized for tagging my son in such a "hurtful thing", they should get involved and were trying to defend me. I don't believe that anyone was trying to be spiteful toward her but she definitely took it that way (I believe, we are all are entitled to our feelings by the way) and she began spewing some very hurtful and emotionally harmful things. That is when I asked for it to stop and I got a rather harsh response that called me out and was clearly aimed to hurt in return.

Seconds after this cold response and my admittedly, maybe not the greatest come back but knee jerk reaction to "thank" her.... all of her comments were gone (she deleted them) and I received an ugly and hurtful email that I am going to share with you now...

~~~~~~
Marisa: I wish you all the best, but until you are able to support me and accept that we do have differences and those differences are not attacks against **you** -- until you are able to feel how inappropriate the actions and words of your friend XXX attacking my past (which she was -- read it again) -- until you, MARISA, are able to grow a backbone and defend those you love least to those you love most when you understand the feelings of the person you love least -- we can not have contact. I suspect this means it's the end of the road. That's okay, too, cuz your inability to really truly accept the position that you're in and that something needs to be done (seriously, you can be harsh with your child but can't call yourself FAT?) and your overwhelming excuses that you "black out" and "can't get full" so that you can continue to feed your addiction, are a hindrance to me. You will find your way out of your stuff, as I'm sure I will find my way out of mine. I think letting go of one another may be a positive step for both of us. Peace.
~~~~~~

Now, please know, I would never out this person or reveal her identity to you or anyone else that wasn't involved... I don't hold any grudges toward her or wish to be vindictive toward her in any way. EVER.

I also want to say that, I would NEVER use someones insecurities, fears, weaknesses and personal thoughts against them. I wouldn't intentionally anyway. I most definitely wouldn't even dream of using it as ammo to hurt that person. But that is what happened to me tonight.

Everything that I have ever shared with all of you on here in my blogs or in private conversations was used against me. To cause me harm. To mess with my head and to bring me down. It was cruel and unusual punishment and even though i don't like to admit that it hurt me, it did. However, it didn't send me into the tail spin of despair that may have been intended. It just hurt.

I wouldn't normally share something like this. It is something that probably is best left to private but I realized my heart was hurt and I see that I had to talk about this. I wasn't going to write about this, I was going to swallow the malicious attack and let my heart hurt for a while.

But then I realized, that whether I talked about it or not, my heart was going to hurt anyway. I have no ill will, I'm not trying to hurt her or out her or get you all to gang up on her. I just realized in situations like these, sometimes you need to ask for a little help from your friends to lift you back up when someone is tearing you down.

I also have to ask... how would you feel if the above message was sent to you? If you REALLY did try to be this persons friend. If you, yourself were never trying to be hurtful or disrespectful but the way you tried to put things to rest was received that way. If you, have laid your heart on the line and shared your inner most thoughts, only to have them used as a weapon to injure. How would you feel? Am I over reacting by being hurt by those words? How do I keep those words from injuring me further? How would YOU move beyond this?

Please know that I tried to respond to the private message that I shared above. After that was sent to me, I was immediately blocked from not only facebook but also here on sparkpeople, so I was never given a chance to speak my peace. So I decided to do that here and share with you. I am copy and pasting what I would have said, so you know my response and my reaction (I have not edited anything)....

~~~~~~
"XXXXXXXX (her name), I will not sink to your level and attack everything about you, your fears, insecurities or your character. It pains me to say this but you are right, our parting ways is for the best and I wish you all the luck in the world.
Best Wishes... Sincerely, Marisa"
~~~~~~

At this moment, I'm still very hurt. I have lived a very sheltered life that I have imposed upon myself and have hidden from those who have hurt me and in fear of those who might hurt me. I am learning that not everyone is out to cause me harm. I am learning to open up and accept that there are truly kind people out there. If you have ever read one of my blogs you know that I am honest, sincere and trying so very hard to be courageous to fight the good fight we are all going through to better ourselves.

I admit, this is a little set back. A small part of me want to hide again, in fear that anything I say can and will be used against me. Like it was today. However, I have decided that I am not going to surrender to this. I'm not going to let it bring me down, so I am turning to my spark friends right now. I know you exist and that is why I decided that it was alright to share this experience and embrace all the wonderful people that are here.

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Soon after the whole debate blow up, one of my friends that was involved sent me the following saying... it is something I am trying to embrace right now.



This is true and it is a reminder... I am not hopeless and I will not give up.
Thank You for reading... emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • BECKYB73
    Marisa, I think I know who you're talking about...I had the same initial feeling that there was a CLICK...but then I sat back a little and saw some things that made me uncomfortable and unwilling to continue the relationship. I only did this because I'm a once bitten, twice shy kinda girl....and I've been bitten A LOT.

    I notice you haven't been very active lately here on Spark and I hope that it's not because of this unpleasant experience you've just shared here. I also notice the other party appears to be gone as well. (I suspect lurking, but what do I know anyway?)

    Keep looking out for yourself and your family, they need you and you deserve to be healthy AND Happy!!
    3164 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12484326
    Listen sweet girl you need to worry about Maresa not fix everyone else. You need to feel this hurt- we obese people hide our feelings and then medicate with food. Deal with your feelings it is really hard work but it is the right thing to do. Stay strong and keep pushing yourself.
    3181 days ago
  • PATRISNA
    I read your blog and I read all the comments. I agree with all the comments. Don't let this person get you down. Move on and remember you are a wonderful supportive person and you have friends here to support you.

    This website has been a life changer for many of us. I have made many friends here. Like you I was burned many times in my past. I learned by hard knocks not to trust people. I have been told you can't trust anyone on the internet. I have always said SP is different. I don't feel that way about FB.

    There have been a couple of times I was attacked on SP for a comment I made. It does hurt and I thought about quitting the site. Since I did not quit I have realized there are more positive caring members on SP than negative members. Don't let one "bad apple" ruin your journey Marisa.


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    3183 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/19/2012 3:53:12 PM
  • EATVEGAN
    I'm sorry this happened to you. It is a shame that some people's feelings are so tender that they see offense where none is meant. I hope you won't have any bitterness toward this person, but will just put it behind you and concentrate on all the positives here on SP. There are sure a lot of them.
    When we allow ourselves to be open and vulnerable we sometimes get hurt. Please don't stop being the caring person you seem from this blog to be. emoticon
    Janet
    3185 days ago
  • EVILPASSION
    For what's it worth.......my friends and I saw that post on facebook -- not by you, but by someone else, and LOVED it. Like....loved it. It said so much that we all wanted to say! I don't think it was rude to tag him; it was a reality check. And, beyond that....it was a good old-fashioned "I had to walk to school barefoot three miles in January in the snow up to my crotch" thing like our parents used to do. Don't ever think that was "mean".

    There are people who get upset by very weird stuff. You're handling this well and making sure you're not one of them!

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    3186 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8054794
    emoticon You've done the right thing by not lowering yourself to the level of bad-mouthing someone by name, publicly.
    3186 days ago
  • BABBINA
    Aww honey, thanks for sharing this blog it was very heartfelt & touching. I love the quote yr friend posted in the end. Now the vindictive one has some deep rooted insecurites that had nothing to do w u and it was actually best that u both parted way instead of her continuing to try to break yr spirit, you know?
    3186 days ago
  • TRACYZABELLE
    Some people like to wallow in their issues and drag people in, they want the attention on THEM all the time.. these are the people I distance myself from.. it is not healthy to keep toxic people in your circle.. you are right and did nothing wrong-- stand your ground-- you are beautiful, strong , kind and caring.. don't get stepped on by anyone! emoticon
    3187 days ago
  • PROJECT_SUSAN
    Marisa, I am so sorry that this happened to you. That quote at the end of your blog speaks volumes! Chin up! As GODIVADSG said, you are in control!! No one else!!

    I personally haven't had any negative people come at me but I have heard and or seen negative attacks on others. It is a shame that in a place like this where we all are trying to get healthy and lose weight, that people use this area to attack.

    You are a fantastic woman! You are strong and fricken awesome! (don't tell my mom I said fricken! hahahaha)

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    3187 days ago
  • BIGJIM5
    Girl this world is so full of mean people.. A good friend is able to take the good with the bad, not just the good all the time. Some people are just takers and never willing to give back.. Always listen to that gut feeling. it is almost always right!! Keep your chin up and never let anyone push you down or backwards. Rise above and keep moving.. we are doing this for ourselves. nobody else!! You have a wonderful support system and lots of friends here, i can see that just from this blog posting, Think about the good and and don't lose focus... YOU are a WINNER!!
    3188 days ago
  • no profile photo CD11306341
    ((((((((((((( hugssssssssssssssss ))))))))))))))))))))))

    you have a heart of gold, smiles
    3190 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12236521
    I'm sorry that this happened. It sounds as though you have a wonderful open relationship with your son or else you wouldn't have tagged him with such wisdom. If she has a problem with it, it is her problem.

    I think that the mature way for her to have handled it would have been to email you directly to voice her concerns. But, instead, she chose to post to your facebook and chose to have your friends and son defend you. She should have expected that backlash.

    Another thing is that you are not responsible for what your friends do. Obviously, the friend defending you felt the need to post what they did. At that point, the "friend" should have backed off instead of fueling the fire.

    I think that you have shown who is the better person here. You showed (and still are showing) her respect when she showed you none. To call you out as she did was uncalled for. I don't see what you could have done differently.

    You have a lot of people that care about you and that are cheering you on. I know how hard it is to move on from being betrayed by a "friend", but you will. emoticon
    3190 days ago
  • CHUBRUB3
    I am so sorry to hear this happened to you Marisa. This lady needs help & I hope she finds it on her own. Alienating friends is not the answer.
    Hugs
    Angela
    3190 days ago
  • CHRISTIANAPOLLO
    No matter where we go, who we talk to, what we do and what we try to keep ourselves from getting into, sometimes we just can't. It does hurt! But it's the things that hurt that help you in the long run. And I think when you posted this up you found that out! I am so happy that you took a hurtful thing that happened and you are being strong about it; sticking up for what you believe in! That will only make you stronger! I have been through so many of these moments in my life.. true some of them have made me build some walls, but made me more aware and made me learn more things about myself than I ever would have if I hadn't been in those situations.
    I am here for you if you ever need a shoulder emoticon
    3191 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/11/2012 9:01:13 PM
  • MARYLEE56
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    3191 days ago
  • DIFROMWYOMING
    I know you have received a lot of support here. I had something similar happen to me at sp long ago, and the break was a good one for both of us, I'm sure. At this point in your journey you have to focus on what is positive for you- and only you. Selfishness is not a bad thing when you're saving your life.

    Yes, we are all different- but we need to only put energy into people who uplift us. I have a friend here on sp and we are friends on fb and she told me someone told her she could no longer support her health journey because their political ideas conflicted. Narrow minded-to be sure- but I say good riddance, really. We have to embrace the support and let go of the emotional strings we've always held.

    Hug yourself- accept the support you see here- and move forward. The hurt will diminish with time and time is what you have today. Hugs, Di
    3191 days ago
  • NEWMOM20121
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    Sorry this happened to you. I know it would hurt me if one of my spark friends did this to me. I have been blessed so far and have only had positive interactions.


    3191 days ago
  • FORBANDE
    I think you acted as a true friend while keeping yourself. So many people pretend to agree or encourage behavior they do not believe in the for the sake of a friendship. They don't realize that it compromises them and isn't really friendship. As you said, it's catering them. Which is what the person wants but says they don't. I know this because I have been the caterer in so many relationships. At the end of the day, I was the one drained, unsupported and feeling bad for not fully being myself. Life is too short and too precious to spend it with someone that saps your energy and makes you feel bad.

    There are many people (and even some in the positive Spark community) that spew their views and opinions and when confronted or a counter-opinion is supplied, starts to call those that don't agree with them pushy or intolerable of them or their differences. Basically that by having another opinion, you don't accept or support them. They have a huge misunderstanding of what it means to be accepted. They think total agreement is acceptance. That's compliance not acceptance. They say they don't want to be or are not a victim but that's exactly what they want. To the point of sabotaging relationships. Good for you for not sinking to this level.

    I may not know you personally but by reading your blogs and all the support you've given me, I know you are a great person with a wonderful heart. Do not let this person discourage you from other relationships. Don't give them the power. They do not deserve it. And NEVER let anyone criticize or make you feel bad for your choices as a parent. They do not know you, your family and may not even know anything about being a parent. Your family is yours to take care of and raise. Do what's in your heart and you cannot go wrong.

    Hold you head up and know that this Sparker is sending you huge hugs and is very thankful for you! I think you are AWESOME and have nothing but success and happiness in front of you.

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    3191 days ago
  • GODIVADSG
    That last quote says it all. You and me and the rest of us need to ingrain that quote in our hearts. I always have to go back to that Kelly Clarkson song, What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Hang on dear one.... you are in control. No one else! emoticon
    3191 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12351332
    I absolutely cannot blame your heart for hurting right now, it has every right to. You are such an amazing and beautiful person that you wanted to reach out and help someone when they needed you and that is a very admirable thing to do. But unfortunately some people just cannot be without a negative attitude and hurtful aims. This has absolutely nothing to do with you. You just happened to be there during their outbursts and I guarantee you this person has done it to more people than just you. It is their problem, not your own.

    And I know you probably know this, but your heart hurts anyway and that is a true tragedy. The only thing I could say to provide some comfort is to turn to the rest of the Spark community. The true friends and Sparkies you have come to know and love will be there for you, supporting you through this unfortunate display of events and wishing you a speedy recovery with all of the kindness and positivity you need to forgive and forget. And after such negativity from that person I know the love and support on here will go a long way at lightening your heavy heart.

    I do have one thing to add though. Never stop reaching out to people. Just because you had this one bad experience with a negative and rude friend (and we all have had a person like that in our lives) does not mean that you should hide away your Spark from the rest of us. We need you to keep being the sweet and motivated person you are and with that comes reaching out and supporting others, like you are so willing to do. Don't let this change you. You never deserved to be treated such a way and should only experience the best life has to offer. And more often than not life will present its best experiences to you.

    Thank you for sharing this story and my heart truly aches for your situation. But there is not a doubt in my mind that you can overcome this hurtful incident to remain the cheerful and sweet woman you are.

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    3191 days ago
  • JAIRIE813
    My heart hurts for you. I have been in that position before and it is painful. I have had 'friends' who have taken every little bit that I have ever shared with them and turned it around to hurt me. As a result, for many years I never completely opened up to anyone for fear that it would be used against me. I have many acquaintances, but very few close friends.

    Your real friend is right. The things she said are not a reflection of you, they are a reflection of her. I think ending that association was definitely for the best. You should try your best to surround yourself with goodness, not nastiness. I recently found need to distance myself from a Spark friend because of her negativity and harshness. Thankfully, I did so before she had the chance to aim it in my direction.

    Just focus on what lifts you, not what brings you down.
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    "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." - Oprah Winfrey
    3191 days ago
  • _BELINDA
    I am sorry for the pain this relationship brought you.
    She reacted to your emails/comments through the lenses of her own personal experiences.
    I hope the support you have received from other Spark members more than makes up for the loss of this relationship.
    Never give up on yourself.
    The Bible tells there is a season for everything. That people come into our lives for a day or a lifetime.
    It sounds like this one relationship had run it's course.
    Let your heart heal. don't dwell on the negative.

    Hugs,
    Belinda
    3191 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12472829
    emoticon

    You have a lot of dignity and you handled it with grace. Good for you for keeping the response short and sweet minus the drama. There are ALWAYS going to be people who vibe in a negative way..and you cant do all of the elevating by yourself. Its hard to have a grown up relationship if one lacks personal responsibility.

    I LOVED what you posted on your sons wall. I am going to save it for mine. Sometimes kids are deep enough to hear those thoughts. Moms know when that time comes.

    I hope your healing comes quick. I am still hopeful that there is more positive energy than negative. Navigate through it without drowning and you get to 'Level Up' on the game of human spirituality lol

    Have a good night!
    3192 days ago
  • MDGARDENGIRL
    As much as I love FB and SP, it is very hard to gauge friendship simply because we only allow people to see the person we want them to see. This so-called friend really didn't want a friend in you Marisa. She wanted a whipping post for when she got angry and disgusted at herself I am presuming. It isn't you that failed to be a good friend or listener, it was her.

    I won't tell you to not hurt. You will because you are a good person and always searching for ways to be even better and stronger. But I will tell you to not waste one moment blaming yourself for what happened. You didn't lose a friend. You lost a liability. For that you can be thankful. Just like you are thankful for all of us out here in cyperland who love MESAMA! emoticon
    3192 days ago
  • WORLDSERIES11
    I'm so sorry you had to have this experience. I don't "know" you, but from following your blogs I do know that you've been nothing but honest and supportive of others!! Please know that you did nothing wrong and be grateful that this person, and their negativity, is out of your life!! You can move forward with a clear conscience, and a hopeful heart once again!
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    3192 days ago
  • APRILLUVSBOOKS
    I'm so sorry that this happened :( It's never cool to learn that the people we come to think of as friends can be so cold hearted and hateful to us. I think you handled things well and if I was in the same situation (which I have been before) I think I probably would have handled it worse than you did (ie crying, eating, hiding, eating, quitting). I'm proud of you for not letting it send you into that tail-spin that she was probably hoping it would. And your real friend is right. What she was saying isn't a reflection on you, but on her. I shake my head and wonder why people can't just suck up that we have differences...why does it have to go to that hateful place. What you should do now is just keep telling yourself that you ARE a good person and she CAN'T take that away from you. SUPER GINORMOUS emoticon
    3192 days ago
  • CELAMANTIA
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    3192 days ago
  • THOMS1
    As we get older we learn that we have to distance ourselves from people who pull us down, make us feel bad and do not support us. Time for a new friend and there are tons of people on this site that would love the job. emoticon
    3192 days ago
  • BLEGNER1
    If I found that I was in the situation that you were, I would just say a prayed for the other person, ask the Lord to intervene in their lives and then I would ask His forgiveness for my allowing someone else to dictate what I was feeling
    With forgiveness I would not make contact with perpetrator again unless it was for at strictly nonpersonal event . After aksing the Lord to intervene i would ask Him for forgiveness and then let go and let God
    3192 days ago
  • MIDORI_SPARK
    You've handled it beautifully, so hold your head high and know that there is nothing more you could have done to diffuse the situation with this person. It's not my place to hold judgments against her, and she is free to choose her friends, but I will say that she is missing out if she's chosen not to be friends with a person as thoughtful and caring as you. emoticon
    3192 days ago
  • JUST-DUCKY
    Oh hunny! My jaw literally dropped at this.

    This hurt me to read it. Although this ended badly, I think it ending was a good thing. You don't deserve a 'friend' who would treat you this way because of a disagreement.

    I love you and I love who you are, don't let this person change you. Rise above it. You are so much more.

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    3192 days ago
  • BHELL42
    i dont know you but i read your blog... ive had this same experience with people and long ago one of my employees emailed me something that resonates with me even today... its about how everyone has a place in our life even if only for a reason, season, or lifetime... if you would like i can send it to you... maybe you were both a reason for each other, a lesson of some sort learned, or maybe she was a reminder to care for yourself as you care for others and trust your inner voice and heart that they won't steer you wrong but will guide you instead... just my thoughts and know that based on what i have read above you are a kind and thoughtful person and anyone worth it will treasure that and cherish it... have a great weekend, dont forget to smile and spark your days along emoticon emoticon
    3192 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10478766
    I'm so taken back by what I just read and you are a far better person than I am. If someone were to attack me like that, I don't think I would have handled it as well as you did. Sometimes, we have to let go of the selfish people in our lives even though we want to support them. I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of this.

    I can see how and why you would feel so much hurt. All I've ever seen from you was friendship, support and someone who truly cares about others. I'm so sorry that your kindness has been taken advantage of but you know what, you ARE A GREAT PERSON. I know it's tough but you can get past this. Use this feeling to fuel your fire!

    I LOVE that last quote. It's so true!

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    3192 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/10/2012 12:09:11 PM
  • SUNKISSEDSOUL
    I am so sorry you are hurting.
    You are a kind person, with a giving and loving soul.
    Stay STRONG, heal, forgive and walk forward in love.

    I just read this and printed it out to see all day today....
    I think you can use its message as well today.

    "Forgiveness doesn’t mean what happened was OK, and it doesn’t mean that person should still be welcome in your life. Forgiveness just means that you've made peace with the pain, and YOU are ready to let it go."

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    Regina
    3192 days ago
  • SHRINK_U
    Awww Rissy. I am so sorry you are hurting. I know that hurt ALL too well. You are so kind and it upsets me to see you hurting. I KNOW how strong that you are and that you will use this as FUEL! Burn it baby... BURN OFF THOSE NEGATIVE FEELINGS.. BURN OFF THAT HURT.. BURN OFF THAT FRUSTRATION ... BURN IT. I am here for you. We are not going to let anything stop us. It is best that the relationship ended.. as it would only cause more pain if it continued. You can do this, Riss. WE CAN DO THIS. You have never been ANYTHING but supportive to me. You have a piece of my heart.

    GAME ON, RISS---- IT'S TIME TO DO THIS.

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    3192 days ago
  • MOM-MOM8
    emoticon Marissa you are understandably hurt, but you need to stay the person that you are. You have made progress and I hope you do not regress and pull away from people. Written words can be harsh and people can read into them what ever they want. She broke the connection taking the decision away from you. Your comments are here if she is interested. Now embrace you other friends as time allows and your family. Time does heal wounds and it will this time.

    By the way I liked the facebook insert for the teenager ( and thanks for the rewrite so I could read it). There is a lot of truth in it but it does not go along with the thinking of much f society today, unfortunately.

    Keep you chin up and words of love will come your way.



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    3192 days ago
  • VALYNN26
    So sorry to hear what happened. Try not to let it bring you down. You are a great person. Keep reaching for your goals & don't ever give up! emoticon Big emoticon
    3192 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12460139
    To me it sounds like their the kind of person who only grows by pulling others down. I'm sorry to hear what happened, and I understand it hurts but I wouldn't let it bring you down. Remember, their issues are their hinderance, it doesn't need to be yours. Stay strong, and be happy their out of your life, and you now no longer have that negativeness in your life. emoticon
    3192 days ago
  • M0MTH3W1TCH
    Marissa ~ continue being the person that you are - kind, loving, sweet, sympathetic, you get the picture. You are a wonderful person and a great SP friend. You can't please all of the people all of time and not everyone is going to agree or disagree the same way you do. Sometimes people just want to bring their negativity to others and bring you down with them. Facades can only be kept up for so long. Be true to yourself because in the long run only you can make you truly happy.

    Keep up the good work in striving to reach your goals. We all have different issues we need to work through which make some days more trying than others. Try to remain positive and you will succeed. We are here for you and you can count on me any time you need.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    marge
    3192 days ago
  • ADARKARA
    Anyone who would ditch you if you didn't agree with them is not a good person. They're selfish, and don't think about anyone but themselves.

    You did right, not sinking to her level.

    NEVER, under ANY circumstances, let ANYONE tell you that your opinions or feelings are not valid.

    From reading your blogs the last few months, I can tell you are a very sweet, kindhearted person. I wish I could say I was more like you. =)
    3192 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10347472
    I am scratching my head, here. Have you ever heard the phrase, 'Speak the truth, in love'?

    She wasn't doing that.

    Maybe what she 'thought' about you 'might' be 'true'... 'in HER opinion', but the way she handled the specific confrontation, the aftermath, and even earlier conversations... just wasn't normal.

    A lot of the time arguments are about different perspectives. A lot of the time, forgiving and being friends, is about accepting another persons perspective.

    I don't think she was accepting your perspective.

    I also don't think she was 'speaking the truth, in love'.

    My final thought. This woman wasn't a helpmate on your journey. She did you a favor.




    3192 days ago
  • SANDYW1945
    Well, this woman probably expected more from you than was possible. Sorry you had to experience this. Such sadness from this. At my age, I've discovered that some people are best to stay your distance from...they create a toxic environment for you; and some people you need to stay near..they make you feel good...

    As for the Judges words...I understand what he must feel, seeing all these kids come before him day after day with attitude and not a giving bone in their body.

    Take care. emoticon
    3192 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2244567
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon ONE DAY AND ONE STEP AT A TIME WE WILL DO THIS WE ARE WORTH IT. REMEMBER TO TRACK DAILY YOUR FOOD AND FITNESS TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE.
    PUT THE BAD BEHIND YOU AND MOVE ONE EACH DAY IT WILL GET EASIER.
    WHEN THE WEIGHT STARTS DROPPING YOU WILL GET HAPPIER AND HAPPIER. TIME TO TAKE CARE OF YOU AND ONLY YOU CAN DO IT .
    WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU IF YOU NEED ANYTHING AT ALL JUST ASK.
    TAKE CARE AND GOOD LUCK ON YOUR SPARK JOURNEY.
    3192 days ago
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