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2 1/2 years after weight loss

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Hi everyone. It's been awhile since I've blogged.

Today is Tuesday August 7th 2012. This morning I weighed in at 172 pounds which is 15 pounds more than my all-time low of 157. 157 was a pretty low weight for me, I look best at 165ish so let's just say in the past 2 1/2 years I've maintained my weight loss.

Let me tell you what a struggle it has been. Maintaining is tough. The first year was just figuring out what life is again. The second year was spent filling up my life with all sorts of races including two half marathons and a 12 mile muddy, grueling obstacle course. All was awesome and SO worth it.

This last half year has been spent in honestly, misery. I've forgotten how far I've come and where I was. That 323 pound girl is long gone and won't return physically but I CAN NOT LET GO MENTALLY.

Losing more than 150 pounds has left my body battered and scarred. No matter how many weights I lift, miles I run or different foods I eat, this skin will not go back to normal. I look in the mirror in disgust and see ugly. (yeah, harsh, I know, but it's the truth). I always told myself that I would give my body and mind time to heal. Well, 2 1/2 is more than enough time for both.

Solution - Cosmetic surgery. I pondered this idea for quite some time. Looked into several different options. Spoke with several different people. I came to to the conclusion that what I need is to look on the outside how I feel on the inside. Yes, I know I said I was ugly earlier. But, I feel extremely healthy and could do anything, almost. This saggy skin and battered body has messed with my mind; stopping that voice inside me that is healthy and strong to continue on with pushing my body to the limits.

I felt for a long time that cosmetic surgery is very vain and it is. I should be happy where I am. I should be amazed and excited from where I was. That flame has extinguished unfortunately. It's affected all parts of my life and it has to stop.

Decision - On Tuesday August 14th (one week from today), I will have extensive cosmetic surgery. This surgery will have me under for at least 6 hours. I will have a tummy tuck with some lipo to my flanks for contouring, breast lift with an augmentation.


That healthy and empowering voice is back cheering me on for what will be after recovery. My flame has been ignited and it's a burning inferno.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you for your honesty. I have contemplated this myself. I do think that the sagging skin affects me continuing to be successful in my struggles, so am leaning towards that myself. Congratulations to you!
    2584 days ago
    I had a breast lift and augmentation. Interestingly, after I had the surgery I was able to lose the last 20 pounds or so I had not lost before. I think because in the back of my head I was thinking "So I lose the rest of the weight and still look bad naked. What's the point?"

    I guess after the surgery I lost my last excuse and finally got the job done. So it wound up being good for my health, too. I've never regretted it.
    2710 days ago
    Congrats to you, both for the loss and the recovery you want! Why is it that vanity for clothing is OK but surgery isn't? I say both are personal choices and good for you!! I have had a couple of procedures myself and am thrilled with the results. Recovery can be a rough month or two, but after that, better every day. Wait until the 6 month limit when you can wear underwire bras again, then have at it!! THAT was my favorite part!
    2710 days ago
    I'm sooooo happy for your Lindsay! You deserve to feel great about yourself! Buena Suerte!
    2725 days ago
    Thank you for sharing this with us. I wish you the best with respect to the surgery itself and the ultimate goal of aligning your outside with your inside!
    2726 days ago
    2726 days ago
    Oh, you deserve this!! Best wishes for a speedy recovery. I know it is going to pay off. I "only" lost 86 pounds, but if I was your age I would do the surgery. Congrats on how far you've come -- and now your look will match!! -Marsha
    2726 days ago
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