I believe that its important for you to write your ups and downs regardless of whether others are tired of hearing about it. It's not their journey, its yours. Write for yourself, not others. Writing about the up/down emotions are so much better than eating the feelings.
Don't sell yourself short if writing your feelings is what you need to do.
I've appreciated your frustration and your honesty about your real journey - not a sugar coated one. I have empathy for you, sympathy sometimes too as I feel the emotions running hot and deep.
In reply to your reply...I subscribe to your blog because I think you're neat people just the way you are, so I hope you don't leave sparkpeople. It has nothing to do with how quickly you're losing or how long you are or aren't on a plateau. You have intrinsic value, and if you can't believe that, we'll believe it til you do! 3204 days ago
So a couple babies in and in your early 30's...Have you had your thyroid tested? If not you should. Don't accept a diagnosis, ask for your numbers. I went from energizer bunny to sloth after baby number two. I gained a ton of weight. Hired a trainer, went to WW for 3 weeks...did it all right and lost ONE POUND. ONE!
I tried medifast, nada. I had my thyroid tested and they said it was "normal" My number was "7" so I asked for the scale-it was 1-40 and "low" was "6." Clearly this wasn't "normal" for me. I started on synthroid and the fog/depression lifted but the scale didn't budge. Tried a whole bunch of diets, no one mentioned the fact that I shouldn't have ANY soy with the meds, goodbye South Beach Bars! Goodbye 99% of protein bars!
Then of course there is the taking it on an empty stomach and waiting an hour before eating, new to me. My dosage got upped because "it wasn't working" then my hair fell out...ooops, my bad! The deal is this took years! My doctor blamed my fatigue on my young kids, high stress etc. I eventually got so out of shape that my metabolism was slowere than a dead person's. I could eat 800 calories a day and nothing. My thyroid failing kicked me into early menopause so at 36 I was having hotflashes and night sweats.
Finally my meds were correct. I had zero muscle mass, a really bad knee, aches, pains, low energy and I weighed 256 pounds. I realized I could change ONE thing. Just one. I found a women only bootcamp and went...everyday. I got my family onboard, eventually. I didn't change my eating for 5 months after joining bootcamp because I was trying to build muscles to increase my sluggish metabolism. Inches were lost-about 16 but "only" 5 pounds. I have arthritis in one knee(my 86 yo knee) and a wonky ankle in the other leg.
I can't make you like yourself. I can tell you that your shape changes with muscles.Your self confidence goes up as you accomplish things you thought were never going to happen again. I blew my knee at 27 and was told my running days were over and I was okay with that. I never thought I'd be doing a 10K at 43 or a half marathon(only one!) at 45...I didn't drop this weight quickly. I consider a plateau a win, I could be GAINING WEIGHT?! I'm jealous of people who lose 100 pounds in six months or a year. I've lost 60 in 2 years...I can tell you that your life is worth saving and that taking off another 100 pounds will go very far in doing just that. I will tell you to RUN to the doctors, have a full panel done. Figure out WHAT is going on and then fix it. My blogging is sporadic but I talk about different aspects of losing weight. Maybe one of them will reasonate with you? Good Luck in whatever direction you choose to pursue. Sydney 3205 days ago
Girl you are doing great. I know those numbers suck and it's been that way for so long. but you know regardless of that damn scale, you are doing great things for your body. Have you told NTB about your plateau? I know he pushed you and you ALWAYS push yourself, but at some point, something has to give. I'm sorry girl, hopefully soon you'll see some light! 3205 days ago
I'm so sorry you're hurting like this. I know how much it sucks to plateau and feel stuck, and I agree that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result...so switch it up! Just do a different workout one day a week, hope in the pool instead of the bike or something, anything! I don't really know what your plan has been, but you need to mix it up! Switch up your eating, maybe do variable calorie days, i.e. Monday you eat the bottom of your range, Tuesday you eat the top, Wednesday you eat in the middle, etc...so that you "trick" your body into releasing some of that fat!
Think of it this way, it took your whole life to get to this point...it may take the REST of your life to get back and stay at your healthiest weight. You've done AMAZINGLY well until this plateau, if it were easy, everyone would be thin!
I know these are platitudes, but to me you ARE a success story already. You lost SO much and yes, you have further to go, but don't you feel better now that you did all those pounds ago? Don't you want to feel even better yet?
Maybe you need a break from the scale, maybe you need a break from the gym or even your eating plan. Maybe you're just burned out. But DON'T give up. I can only speak for myself, but I don't think anyone is "sick of hearing" about your journey, I don't think anyone here considers you a failure. We're all struggling every day. I'm embarrassed to admit the number of and drooling level when I think about Taco Bell. I have days where every hour I'm changing my mind between giving up and stuffing my face with pringles and chocolate, going on an all water all the time diet to make my loss faster, and having so little energy I'm nearly asleep in my desk chair. Things happen. Thoughts and feelings happen. DON'T LET THEM WIN!!! :-)
Ok, this is long enough, I just want you to know we all have these feelings sometimes, but we will ALL get there as long as we stick to it! 3205 days ago
I appreciate the support, I do. And maybe this blog will help me later. Right now? I have no idea what I'm going to do. It doesn't mean I'm going to go back to drinking full 2 liters of pop and pounding a box of Twinkies followed by a box of Ho-Hos. I'm not an idiot. I like the food I eat now, and I probably won't change a damn thing from last week to this one and on and on until the end of time. But I have to give up any hope of being a success story, of ever getting rid of my stomach, of ever getting under 300 pounds, of ever being able to say, "I did it!" because it's KILLING ME mentally and emotionally to keep hoping for progress only to see none. I feel like a child constantly starving for attention who does everything she can do to be good, but because she wasn't perfect she gets smacked across the face for silly mistakes that other parents would simply shrug over.
I'll let you know probably tomorrow if I plan on leaving or staying at Spark. I just can't rationalize in my head how I can be a support to anyone ever again. Yes, I lost 160 pounds. It took me YEARS to do it, but I did that. ....BUT... And that's a big but. In relation to the majority of people on here...it's like losing 20 pounds of the 40 that need to be lost. 50 of the 100 that need to be gone. I got halfway and then stalled out like a friggin' broke down car. And I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm getting sick and tired of hearing my up/down emotions on the whole thing. I can't keep obsessing over something that is probably never going to happen. I can't keep working weeks and weeks finally picking the lock of a door only to have it slammed in my face and locked again. Stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. My stupidity is expecting that I might have the answer to this problem someday...because I don't. Something in me is broken and I don't know that it will ever be fixed...but right now it's my heart that hurts the most because I feel like my dreams keep dying and I work so hard to give them CPR each time, but they just keep dying.
This is not getting into grad school all over again. 3205 days ago
Even if the scale isn't budging you are still doing good things for your body. I'm sure you have more energy and are able to do more things. You're certainly making more progress than I have in a long time! Don't give up! 3205 days ago
Plateau or someone who has done ond hell of a job and is maintained it for 8 months! I'll happen, you'll change something up and it will take right off again! Your and inspiration and the fact is everyone here knows you have it in you to acheive! ;) 3205 days ago
Don't you dare give up..You can and will overcome this..This is a big change for your body..Just think this is for the rest of your life..You are doing so awesome..Try to stay positive and when you think you can't go on..get on here and read what people have posted..You are doing it girl!!! 3205 days ago