Friday, July 20, 2012
Well, it is finally here. I am working my last day at the Poo Plant. Monday I will start my new journey with EHS. Craziness! I have such mixed emotions. I am going for something that I have wanted, I am trying a career path that I have felt is what I want to do. But change is scary, and change is challenging and I typically run away from anything that I might fail at. Which is weird since I haven't ever really failed at anything that I have tried because well, I tended to basically always take the safest route.
I am still working through my issues of giving myself credit for all that I have done. So I am going to attempt to brag here a little
1. First in my family to graduate college
2. Been on my own supporting myself
3. Moved to 3 different cities on my own and didn't completely fall apart
4. Graduated graduate school
5. Completed the TOUGH MUDDER
6. So far have lost almost 85 pounds from my heaviest
6. Went to China
7. Survived job losses
8. Survived heart break
9. Survived betrayal from loved ones
10. Survived my mid 20's (when my life went off the rails)
Now, I can list them but I have to know in my heart that I have done quite a bit to be proud of. I have been at the lowest of lows, but I have had the drive and desire in myself to pull myself out of it. I have be able to swallow my pride and ask for help. So I need to just go for this, and know that as long as I am following my heart I will have the strength to manage the new challenges the job brings.
Monday brings the official release of the "NEW" me. I don't want to say improved but I really am. I am smiling more, I am trying new things, I am talking to strangers, I am socializing. I have gotten my life back and now I need to learn to have the belief that I deserve the life I have. I know that God wants us all to live healthy, happy life's so I need to get out of my own way and trust that I have the tools I need to navigate the wonderful road I seem to be traveling.
I am grateful for
1. God - I have asked for Him to nudge me and open my eyes and I think I am starting to see where He wants me to go
2. Rain - finally got some
3. A fresh start
4. My new friend, Anthony (feels like home)
5. My little Niece Taylor - taking the stage as Annie tonight. Wow to have that courage and talent in one girl is precious. Can't wait to see it tomorrow night.
God Bless you all and for all the families in Colorado - such a terrible tragedy.