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Just slap my wrist and call me MIA!

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Yeah, lame entry title... but it fits! I need a slap on the wrist for my actions lately! I have worked out very little and given in to cravings quite often. And I've been MIA from SparkPeople for awhile now ;)

Here's an update... I finally went to the doctor about the issues I have been having this past year with my heart and breathing. No calls back yet (which could be good, right?) but I have another appointment with my doctor on August 7th, right before I go back to school. She got me set up with a 24 hour heart holter to record my heart activity for 24 hours and also had me get some blood tests done. Hoping to get some calls about those results soon!

I'm 21 years old... I feel like this shouldn't be happening to me at this age... Know what that means?

-I finally realize how unhealthy I am. And how much it's hurting me.-

I went on a youth retreat this past weekend with the youth group I'm interning with. We were swimming in the lake and I started getting tired and couldn't keep up with the teens. In fact, I had to stop and try to stay above water because I started feeling the heart flutters and stuff that stops me in my tracks.

I'm a good swimmer... so this was obviously 100% due to being overweight and unhealthy... something's gotta change.

_________________ (topic change) _________________

Remember when I talked about the depression I was feeling back in my last few blogs? Well, my doctor had me take depression and anxiety surveys and I scored high enough for her to think I need meds ... sigh. I haven't been on meds since my senior year of high school... I really didn't want to go back!

But, due to my earlier revelations, I decided she might be right. Still, I opted out of the anti-depressant and chose the anti-anxiety med instead. I'm not so sure I want that one, either... I can't figure out what I want, haha. It's been really hard to think about the fact that I'm back on a medication. I felt for awhile that I had lost my testimony. My testimony has always been that I fought through depression and mental illness and won because of Christ...

I feel like I'm losing because I'm back on medication. But, if it's necessary, it's necessary. And Christ is no less evident in my life because I am taking medication.

Any words of advice?

This has gotten longer than I expected (pssh but what's new, right? haha).
_________________ (topic change #2) ________________

I have 3.5 weeks until school starts back up.. I have two options.

1) I could make excuses and say "oh, I'll start back up when school starts!"
2) I could go back to school close to 10 lbs smaller.

Anything is better than nothing, right?

So, here goes! Wish me blessings and say a prayer, would ya? ;) I've got some work to do!


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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SPIRIT42013
    If you were doing the healthy program, you'd feel less depressed in all probability. I'm glad that you're getting your heart checked out. Trust your docs and do the program! emoticon
    2744 days ago
  • LARISSA238
    Don't feel that taking meds is going to make you weaker somehow. God made meds for a reason. If they help you, then they help you.

    Be careful with anxiety meds... they are addicting. My friend got addicted to them and has spent the last 3.5 years trying to get over it. She's still bedridden most of the time because of pain. I'm not trying to scare you away, but talk to your doctor about addiction risk before you start taking them.
    2744 days ago
    emoticon back to SP, where you can post and get support. Yes, I said a prayer for you. Medication? Well, apparently God believes in it, because he said laughter is like a good medicine. Wasn't Luke a physician, and God chose him to write one of the Gospels. Believe that God has given the people in the medical field their knowledge and understanding and take the meds along with prayer. If God can anoint people to pray and raise the dead, He certainly can bring you out of despair and poor health. You're on emoticon now.
    2747 days ago
    Great to see you back on spark! I've battled depression myself over the years, and it's a slippery devil; just when you think you've gotten it beat, it slithers back into your brain somehow. Depression hasn't taken away your testimony! With Christ's help, you're finding the strength to fight it using all sorts of strategies, including meds. Personally, the best weapons I have against it are talking about how I'm feeling (including prayer), adequate sleep, and regular exercise! Keep on keeping on!
    2747 days ago
    Let me encourage you to keep moving forward on improving your health and getting in shape. You have your whole life ahead and you have so much potential to be used of the Lord in ministering to young people. I'm a 71 year old who is still struggling to lose those same pounds I've been dealing with since I was your age. Don't let let that happen to you. You--with Christ's help--have the power to do this. I will be praying for you and keeping up with your progress. God bless you. Carlene
    2747 days ago
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