Just slap my wrist and call me MIA!
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Yeah, lame entry title... but it fits! I need a slap on the wrist for my actions lately! I have worked out very little and given in to cravings quite often. And I've been MIA from SparkPeople for awhile now ;)
Here's an update... I finally went to the doctor about the issues I have been having this past year with my heart and breathing. No calls back yet (which could be good, right?) but I have another appointment with my doctor on August 7th, right before I go back to school. She got me set up with a 24 hour heart holter to record my heart activity for 24 hours and also had me get some blood tests done. Hoping to get some calls about those results soon!
I'm 21 years old... I feel like this shouldn't be happening to me at this age... Know what that means?
-I finally realize how unhealthy I am. And how much it's hurting me.-
I went on a youth retreat this past weekend with the youth group I'm interning with. We were swimming in the lake and I started getting tired and couldn't keep up with the teens. In fact, I had to stop and try to stay above water because I started feeling the heart flutters and stuff that stops me in my tracks.
I'm a good swimmer... so this was obviously 100% due to being overweight and unhealthy... something's gotta change.
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Remember when I talked about the depression I was feeling back in my last few blogs? Well, my doctor had me take depression and anxiety surveys and I scored high enough for her to think I need meds ... sigh. I haven't been on meds since my senior year of high school... I really didn't want to go back!
But, due to my earlier revelations, I decided she might be right. Still, I opted out of the anti-depressant and chose the anti-anxiety med instead. I'm not so sure I want that one, either... I can't figure out what I want, haha. It's been really hard to think about the fact that I'm back on a medication. I felt for awhile that I had lost my testimony. My testimony has always been that I fought through depression and mental illness and won because of Christ...
I feel like I'm losing because I'm back on medication. But, if it's necessary, it's necessary. And Christ is no less evident in my life because I am taking medication.
Any words of advice?
This has gotten longer than I expected (pssh but what's new, right? haha).
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I have 3.5 weeks until school starts back up.. I have two options.
1) I could make excuses and say "oh, I'll start back up when school starts!"
2) I could go back to school close to 10 lbs smaller.
Anything is better than nothing, right?
So, here goes! Wish me blessings and say a prayer, would ya? ;) I've got some work to do!