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Depression!

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Hello everyone,
I am struggling as most of your are too with my weight. Big surprise ay? My daughter is getting married in three weeks and I went shopping for a Mother-of-the-Bride dress yesterday and in the changing room I saw myself in the mirror where you can see every angle at one time. I just wanted to cry. Nothing I tried on looks good because of my shape. I have seen women who wear the same "size" dress that I wear but look better because they have a nice shape still.

My biggest thing is that my belly sticks out farther than my boobs. The Plus Size models, when I shop online, even have a smaller waist than boobs. The clothes look good on them because they are proportionate even though they are still larger people.

I guess I wouldn't mind as much being heavier if I were proportioned better.

Ho, Hum...

I guess it doesn't matter what I "wouldn't mind" I am who I am and I am shaped the way I am shaped and I need to make changes. I have no dreams of being a "little" person in time for the wedding BUT I have lost weight before and I can do it again and this time I hope to have such a strong lifestyle change that I NEVER gain it back again.

I got side tracked and I don't want to look like this anymore. I can't do the things I think I can do in my head because of my weight and because of my body shape. I can't tie my shoes properly because my belly gets in the way. I can't get up and down like I should be able to do either because of my weight.

NO MORE!!

I wasn't like this growing up and I refuse to stay this way for the growing old part of life! I want to be healthy.

I am going to use this blog as my personal diary. It is public but I need to be able to say what is on my mind. I feel like I keep stuff in all the time and I can't do it anymore. Depression causes overeating for comfort and stress causes belly fat and blah, blah, blah so say all the experts. I am living those words. I am not just a news report on obeicity given by some thin news personality; I am a human being with feelings and I need to change.

Will y'all help? I come and go on here at least in the past...but I want to make that final committement and make this place a habit.

I wish you all had my phone number and address so you could call and bug the crap out of me by way of checking up on me...

My husband would not like it very much if I made that public knowledge though. So here I am making a committment to ME!

I am beginning my weight loss today! Again! Because today is a New Day! AND BECAUSE It is NEVER too late.
George
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