Today the scale was mean to me...and I know why.
about 24 minutes at the gym pool (about 504 yards)
followed by 3 Rockin' Body routines
Total calories burned for the day?
As for my food intake? Well...I wasn't exactly "good"...but I can't classify it as "bad" either.
Breakfast - Sausage McMuffin from McD's
Okay, so that wasn't all that good...but I was super late for work already and ...what can I say?
Snacks - 1 apple, 1 pear, 2 Lindor truffles, 1 20oz Sobe Water with Coconut Water thingy
*snort* I don't see the truffles as a real "bad" thing as long as I don't binge on them.
Lunch - a serving of delish Beef & Vegetable Chili from paleoplan.com
Yum! Healthy leftovers! My favorite lunchtime treat!
Dinner - Subway 12" Cold Cut Combo with lots of lettuce, lots of pickles and some light mayo
Okay, so that's not exactly ideal...but that's exactly what I wanted...and I had the calories for it. I had just gotten out of the gym and was on my way home for another workout...the big one...the 85 minute one. I didn't see the point in starving myself only to go home and binge on cereal...which I know is what probably would've happened. So I got a subway sub and enjoyed every blasted bite.
Dinner 2 - 2 hot dogs on buns with ketchup and mustard
I honestly didn't believe I was still hungry yesterday when I got home...AFTER the sub...and BEFORE the final workout. But I was. So I ate. And then I sat on my butt for about 40 minutes before doing what I knew needed to be done.
Shaun T's Dance Party - 45 minutes - CHECK!
Booty Time - 40 minutes - making up for last week - CHECK!
Hardcore Abs - 10 minutes - CHECK!
I left my HRM running through breaks as I changed through the DVDs, so it totaled 87 minutes and 901 calories burned...more than 30% of them from fat.
All in all, I came out very ahead for the day.
And today? I feel a bit sore, but nothing like I had expected.
Of course, this will likely all hit tomorrow, which is fine for me because I have stuff to do tonight!
I WAS a little bummed at my poor performance at the pool last night, but that all melted away after my second workout. I was tired. My muscles were sore. I worked through discomfort that was NOT pain like I knew I could. I hydrated like a beast. And I came out a champion.
And I don't plan on repeating that kind of intensity in a workout for at least a few more weeks! *lol* I'm going to take it steady and slow for the rest of the week. I'm still going to do my scheduled workouts, but last night was supposed to be the "Come in like a lion" day of the week, so I can manage the rest just fine.
As for my runs? We shall see how my legs hold up. I'm scheduled to do my first week of week 2 C25k again tonight (I'm doing each week at least twice). My knees are a little wonky/stiff right now and my calves have been tightening up a bit. I stretched a lot last night and will again today, but I've already promised myself to complete the workout...even if I have to walk the entire thing. I can walk more than 2 miles without problems, so if the running is really too much, instead of giving up, I'm going to speed walk the rest...or just walk...or leisurely stroll...or crawl. Whatever I need to do to give myself the consistency I need right now. And I'll fight through the next RB routine tonight. It's nothing too bad...Party Express and Dance Groove. Dance Groove is a bit evil, but it's only 60 minutes tonight and I won't stop unless I collapse like I did last week. I proved to myself yesterday that I have more in me now. And that came only after the week I had last week, and my body telling me I had none left.
I'm using the momentum.
I refuse to back down.
Even if I go slow. Even if I take breaks. Even if I have to break up the routine into 5 minute increments with 5 minute breaks in between. I just need to show myself that I can get through it.
And all this I will do with the knowledge that tomorrow will be even better.
Laps again at the pool. I plan on sticking out the 30 minutes, even if I have to go slow or try a different stroke. Followed by only 45 minutes at home.
I know some of you are wondering why I push myself so hard.
You think I'm punishing myself.
But that's not it. Not at all.
To me, it's not about punishment - it's about accomplishment.
I'm not punishing my body...I'm letting it prove to me that it has more in it than I constantly give it credit for.
I'm showing myself that I can keep going even when it seems like it's hard.
Because too often in the past year or so, I've given up when it got hard.
I've backed down off the fight.
And that's just not who I am.
This is me being kind to myself.
I'm not telling myself that I have to be 100% all the time.
I'm going back to my rule that all I have to do is show up and stick it out for the time allotted.
And not for pounds on the scale or inches off the waist.
None of that matters each time I do it.
It's the pride I feel in completing something.
It's the pure sense of knowing that I can, when others have counted me out.
It may be foolish, but it's what's working for me.
Many times in this journey I've asked myself how I'm going to keep this up the rest of my life.
Because that's what I have to look forward to. This isn't some diet phase of my life...it's something I have to learn to commit to for the long haul - until the grave finds me.
There's no use fretting over the blessings I didn't receive, the curses I feel have touched me.
No, I cannot eat whatever I want and maintain a slammin' physique.
No, I will never know what it's like to be a skinny teen.
But I have to go back to why I started this. So I could do whatever the hell I wanted to do without anyone telling me I couldn't because of my weight.
Sure, there may be other reasons to not do things, but my weight and fitness level will NOT be one of them. Not if I have anything to do with it.
And I do.
I have everything to do with it.
And I'm doing it.
So, yes, I'm pushing hard this week.
And, no, I can't see myself pushing this hard every week for the rest of my life.
But I CAN see myself having a few weeks of madness followed by a few months of calm reserve and quiet determination.
I have never been one who was known for standing still.
I must always be moving and changing - improving myself inside and out.
And my focus shifts probably too often for anyone to keep up with.
But I'm not going to fight that any longer.
I'm going to fight the notion in my head that says I have to be a different person to lose weight.
I'm a go hard or go home kinda girl.
And then sometimes I'm just a go home and hide kinda girl.
As long as I can keep the momentum going through both stages and learn how to manage both...both girls will come out alright.
Plan for dinner tonight is Sausage and Cabbage "Noodles" and Fried Apples from everydaypaleo.com. ...maybe.
Other upside I'm celebrating today?
My fruit bowl at home is nearly empty.
The other day Hubs asked, "Do we have anything sweet to munch on?"
I told him no. Then I caught him moments later munching on a peach.
And the fact that the apples are almost gone as well?
Just shows that him and the boys have been reaching in that bowl the past few days instead of into the cupboards for processed non-foodlike-garbage.
Don't worry - Hubs will be just fine.
I'm sure he's eating a Nutty Bar as we speak.
I left those things at his work.