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Cha-cha CHANGES!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Wow, what a week can do to make a difference. This time last week I was really down in the dumps feeling broken. But I kept faith that things would work out. As you know I was offered the job and I accepted it. AMAZING!

Yesterday I took a day off from work so I could really clean out my apartment. Like 10 bags of trash later (how do we accumulate so much junk), I feel like I am ready to start my new path. It was really good throwing things out, and sorting old clothes. It was like I was finally eliminating the OLD me and finally accepting that I am moving forward. So now I have a clean apartment and closets that actually have SPACE in them. WOAH!!

I also started to work on my Pittsburgh bucket list. I have lived here since 2007 and I am finally getting around to doing some things that I have wanted to do in the area, but my depression left me frozen from doing it. I have gone Kayaking on the river, went to sandcastle (yes, I whore a bathing suit in PUBLIC!), and did South Side with a group of girls. And amazing things have been happening ever since.

On Saturday, the night out with the girls I wasn't completely self conscious about being out with very lovely single ladies. I didn't feel like I was the fat friend (though technically I was, they are gorgeous, but also 25). I also got to know a guy friend a little better and he was very flattering towards me. He kept telling me how attractive I am because of my personality and I wasn't hearing in my head "yeah, great personality, thus you are fat and ugly" So major step in the right direction!

I know I will probably hit another low, but I pulled myself out of it on Tuesday. At noon last week, I was sitting on the ground crying my eyes out. But I prayed just to give me the strength to make it through the rest of the day. And God answered in big ways. I was calm for the rest of the day, even though I was blue. I had guilt because I was being 'short' with people, but I held my tongue the rest of the day. Then, God knew it was time to force me out of my dumps and I got the offer and I have been on a roll ever since.

I am talking myself out of the negative thoughts, and I am telling myself that since I feel peace I am on the path that I am supposed to. Don't know what the next two weeks will be like here at the job, but giving my notice went better than I thought. So, here is to the changes that are coming my way.

Maybe all of the hard work I have been doing on my mental state, and of course all of the physical work I have been doing are starting to come together. Hopefully my valleys I will walk through won't be as low as they have been in the past. And that when things are OK, I can see it and be grateful for all that God has provided me.

I am grateful for
1. Johnny Marie - he came over yesterday and helped keep me on track with throwing out my old life
2. I took another 30secs off of my 5 mile time. (great for not running in over a week)
3. The break in the heat - goodness this past weekend was just exhausting with the heat
4. GOD - I actually am finally getting right with His timing. It's good to not be so stubborn and just trusting in my Father
5. Left overs - got Chinese yesterday, and I have some noodles and seaweed salad for lunch, YUM YUM

God Bless, and thank you all for taking this amazing journey with me, and sticking with me when I am down!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD1322168
    So happy for you. there is nothing like cleaning out stuff and moving on with life to make you rejuvenated. It sounds like God is blessing you....
    3205 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1951302
    That feeling of cleaning out and having a fresh start is great! Even better when God is directing your journey!
    3206 days ago
  • -AIRYN-
    Sounds like you had a blast with your Pittsburgh bucket list. I love that city but have only spent the night there, to go to a Pirates/Cubs game. I love that park!!

    Keep on pushing and stay positive =)
    3206 days ago
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