Only trust people who like big butts...they cannot lie.
Happy Weekend everyone!
So far so good for me. I had a minor meltdown last night. Okay, strike that. I had a MAJOR meltdown last night, collapsing after the first 25 minute workout and before the 40 minute one that was to follow and crying into the blanket on the couch. It was a major breaking point for me...and a huge boost to my feeling of support from those closest to me as my cat rubbed up against me and meowed for me to stop crying, my husband rubbed my sweat-drenched back and told me over and over again that I was NOT, as I was insisting at the time, a "loser," and my youngest son combing back my hair with his fingers and telling me how proud I should be of myself for what I had done.
Truth is? I broke.
My body was sore. Exhausted. Done.
And my mind was right behind.
After work I went to the gym with the small pool. I HATE that pool. The water is murky and you can't see the bottom. You can't even see the side when you get close to it. What IS that? That's gross! And the two women doing...well, I THINK they were trying to do water aerobics but from what I saw they were just standing at the side of the pool talking, blocking any chance I had to do long lengths of the tiny pool...well, they were just MAPP (more annoying pool people). I could've just given in and given up. I had no clue the length of the pool - and those two women were not about to give up their spots so I could do anything resembling laps down the length of it. So I took the short side. Almost ridiculous how short across it was. I didn't even need to take a breath to cross it. (Of course, my air supply is impressive anyhow thanks to years of singing.) I felt lost, but not defeated. I went on do to about 30 fast laps, then did 12, then 8, then 6, then 4. I went all out. I figured I'd work on my breathing and my form and my speed and forget the distance for one day. Even when one of those women came down and walked right in my path for NO apparent reason *roll eyes*, I kept going until I felt I was done. Then I soaked for about 5 minutes in the hot tub to relax my tired muscles, stretched, and got changed to go home...where I was set to workout for another hour.
I KNEW this week was going to be a challenge...but I also knew I needed to challenge both my body and my mental image of what it was possible for me to do. I need this every once in a while. I need a full on push. No excuses. Just GO! It's the only way I realize if I've improved my stamina. The only way I challenge my muscles to build up some stamina power of their own. I honestly don't know that I've EVER pushed it this hard before.
And I might have been alright had I fueled properly. But Hubs went out with the guys when I most needed to be next to him (totally not his fault) and I took the boys out to eat, where I gave in to all my dairy and starch and grain cravings - okay, not all of them, but a few too many. And I felt the effects of that almost immediately. My body starting shutting down in the grocery store. I was almost to the point where I could fall asleep standing up. We finally made it home and I actually paid my oldest 2 bucks to put the groceries away for me while I collapsed on the couch.
But it was one of those "Unless you puke, faint, or die - Don't Quit!" days. So around 10pm, I rolled off the couch and put on my workout clothes and started my Rockin' Body routines for the day. But after the 25 minutes of Party Express? I knew I was done. My leg was cramped up from toe to knee. My body was screaming at me and I knew I needed to listen...as much as I didn't want to. So I did fall into a heap on the couch. I didn't puke or faint or die, but I collapsed into a heap and broke down sobbing and that's when I knew I was done. I couldn't hold it together any longer. I had reached my breaking point.
It was just the message I needed to see this morning. And it's SO true.
I woke up this morning 2 pounds heavier (no doubt from overtraining) and, yet, much lighter. I reached my breaking point, had a meltdown, got the support and sleep I needed, and then moved the hell on. Because THAT is what you have to do in these situations. MOVE THE HELL ON!
I started this morning with a yummy scrambled egg dish with Italian sausage, onions, red pepper, and mushrooms (and a dash of cayenne pepper...a new trick I've learned). I shared it with Hubs over some coffee. And then I got on my workout clothes and went out for my scheduled run.
And even when my app messed up and I had to start over about 8 minutes in...
...it didn't break me.
And even when the sweat stung my eyes and I realized I'd forgotten my Bondiband...
...it didn't break me.
And even when I started feeling the heat and my toes started hurting a bit as I realized I should've never gone that far in new shoes...
...it didn't break me.
Because I was already broken.
And I had moved the hell on.
I came home, downed a crapton of water, stretched, and sat down with a bowl of almonds and dark chocolate as a post-workout treat.
I'm rebuilding. I'm okay. I'm still here.
It broke me...but it didn't crush me.
And that was the lesson I learned. (That and the one at the top of the screen. *lol*)