So, I am cute?
Friday, July 06, 2012
Well, as most of you know I struggle a lot with self esteem. I can turn every positive into a slight and I am working on it. Well the other night after softball I was walking back with my friend Jake and we were just talking about our lack of significant others. He said "you will probably get a boyfriend before I get a girlfriend" I replied, "eh, the boyfriend will come, I just want to be one of the girls that the guys on the other team thinks is cute/hot" He quickly responded, "well, if you keep working on it." Now, Jake is a great friend and like me, he is very good at sticking his foot in his mouth. I let the comment go, then proceeded to tell all of our mutual friends about it. We had a good laugh.
Then, last night my friend Joe told me that he got a hot single guy to play on our softball team. I of course thanked him for recruiting for me, but I found out that he was talking about himself. He had just been dumped. I was like, good the pressure if off for me to try and look cute for the game. He then said, "Kate, you always look cute." It made me smile. Then later that night, Jake was talking to me, and I called him out about his comment. He felt horrible, and proceeded to tell me how I am cute, and he is really amazed and impressed with all of my work that I have been doing. Of course I forgave him.
So, I am cute. I guess I will have to keep working on the 'hot' part! But I am trying to keep those comments in the positive mind frame, and scold myself when I try and say otherwise. Geez, this whole building of self esteem is really hard and just feels so incredibly out of the norm for me. One day at a time I guess!
I am grateful for
1. The day off - got a great work out in, plus I got to sleep in
2. My friends, most have really complimented me here lately in my changes I have made, not the physical but the mental. So maybe I am making progress.
3. Water - can't get enough of it in this heat
4. FLy tape - I got infested last weekend, and finally I think they are all gone
5. Naps - think I am going to take one now