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My Mini Freakout

Saturday, June 30, 2012

I wasn't even going to bother posting it, but this is for you Lacey...;) In regards to your blog the other day, I just wanted you to know you are not the only one.

So I rely heavily on frozen food when I go to work. I usually bring 2 lean pockets and a bag of frozen veggies. That is put in one bag. My various "refridgerated" stuff in a separate bag. Today the contents of that bag were pretty scarce: Turkey burger patty, string cheese, sugar free jello, and that was it. It wasn't until I was all the way to work I realized I left the frozen bag (aka the majority of my "meals") at home. I just honestly, I was so angry. They had pizza and cheesecake last night at work on my day off, and my friend saved me one piece of cheesecake. That is why my amount of food and snacks was lower, so I could accommodate that cheesecake I really wanted to have.

Normal me would have said eff it, I'm going to eat a ton of the pizza that is in there, and I'll have the cheesecake and who really cares? At least there was pizza in there if I needed it, but I really didn't want it. Then top it off, they go for dinner at a burger place, which is fine, but there is no online site. So no menu, no nutrition etc. I managed to get a chicken pita and seasoned fries... I know the fries were bad for me but there are a ton of them and the plan is to throw out half. I'm glad I got the chicken pita instead of a burger, so I guess A for effort.

But the craziest part is, after all is said and done it still bugs me a little that I can't track it properly. It bugs me that I didn't have the food I meant to bring... but the thing that scares me is this... this sounds so silly to say out loud... but because of my addiction (for lack of a better word) for fast food, I am worried about getting back into a slippery slope. I guess the out of control part of me feels like I had "fast food" today, and that will continue on tomorrow and the next day and the next day, because this is what has happened in the past. It might sound really stupid, but that is my past behavior and that is why it worried me so much.

After I have calmed down I realize that this is something I need to learn to deal with, and to roll with the punches, life happens and I need to learn to adjust. I just have to remind myself that this time is different and doesn't have to wind up like all the times before. The fact that I'm not in the kitchen stuffing myself with pizza at this very moment is a victory in itself. :)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    do you have a freezer at work where you can keep things?

    I always have a frozen dinner on hand at the office incase I forget my lunch
    3271 days ago
    I look at the guilt that comes with enjoying something the world deems "naughty" in the same way you handle an obnoxious bully. If you ignore the nagging then eventually it stops.

    When I start to feel down about a bad day I list my accomplishments. Seems to help. Better luck this month!
    3272 days ago
    I totally know where you are coming from. I have had a *horrible* food week... 5+ days of bad choices... sometimes it just gets really disheartening until you get your ass in gear!! Great job with your choices!!
    3273 days ago
    I appreicate that you posted this! it does really help to write things down and get them off your chest. I understand where your coming from, when we eat out or go to david's mom for supper I always stress that I have to guesstimate my calories but I read something that helps, it's not about perfection - it's about progress. Your making some awesome progress, you ate out but you make a healthy choice - you COULD have had pizza but you didnt! You COULD have had a burger but you decided not to! A bad meal is not going to make you gain 5 pounds (something I have to continue to remind myself), a bad day can not spend us back to our old habits if we don't let it but i know you already know that!
    3276 days ago
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