SP Premium
8,500-9,999 SparkPoints 9,548

My body, my betrayal?

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Today has been so tiring for me and I feel like I am on an emotional shut down. So after being sick off and on for about a month I finally made the decision to go to the doctor. I had been feel so horrible and the uncontrollable coughing was really getting to me so I sucked it up, payed the money and went to the doctor. First off let me start by saying I was diagnosed with prediabietes when I was 18. Now because I didn't have health insurance after the age of 19 I never really followed up however I do know that I did nothing that I was suppose to do in order to help my diagnosis. I just didnt take it seriously and didnt do what I was suppose to. I dont know why I responded like that but I did. So I always figured that it was a possiblity that if I didnt do something I would eventually get diabietes. Please understand that is not something I want but this dieting and excercise thing is so hard for me that I just brush it aside and choose not to deal. Anyway today I went to the doctor and I already feel defeated because my body is fighting me, I have been sick for a month and I am only 24 years old and i feel like my body is trying to shut down for some reason, and the doctor looks at me and tells me you have high blood pressure. The way she tells me scares the hell out of me bacause she is asking me if I have a doctor and she is delievering this news as if she is telling me I have cancer or something and I am so scared. I now have not one but TWO conditions that can hurt me because of the way I choose to eat and take care of myself. I'm so tired of being this way I don't want to be the person that has to take insulin shots everyday, I don't want to be at risk of having a heart attack everytime I put a burger in my mouth. The worse part is knowing that I did this to myself and I now have to find a way to fix it myself. I don't have insurance so I can't go to the doctor when I need to or hire a nutritionist. I have this feeling of just hopelessness but I know I can't give up, this is just hard.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you all so much. I am so thankful for your kinds words and great advice. I am slightly better with everything right now and I am hopeful and I know I can do this. I am still a little sick right now but once I am 100% again I am running to the gym! I can do this I am strong enough to do this! Thanks again guys :-)
    3043 days ago
    You've received some great advice so far and I just want to encourage you to hang in there. Both of these illnesses can be turned around with a little turn around to your health. Perhaps if you don't want to take on the eating aspect right away, get out and walk 10 minutes 2-3 times a day. It's a great way to ease your mind while getting in some exercise. It's also the cheap and don't take much of anything to get started. Start drinking more water and omitting the sodas, juices, etc. If not all at one time drink water only before noon and then other drinks. I drink water all day and only have another beverage at dinner. Sometimes I still have water. You can do this and look into free medical clinics, check websites and see what's recommended. You've got this don't let it have you!!!!
    3043 days ago
  • LADYJ6942
    I'm not sure what state you live in but I'm sure there is some type of insurance they could provide you to help you manage your illnesses.

    As for diet and exercise, take it slow. One small change at a time and after 6 weeks change something else. By doing it slowly you'll make long lasting changes.

    Neither illness/disease has to be a death sentence, neither has to leave you dependent on medicine either. Research your tail off and start making small changes for yourself.

    Hang tight, you can do it!!
    3045 days ago
    You might be feeling overwhelmed and helpless, but I assure you that you DO have the power to fight both of these conditions. I know you can do it. You need to believe you can do it, too.

    How is your sleep schedule? Sleeping well and enough each night can really help both blood pressure and blood sugar control... not to mention it will help give you your "willpower" to fight bad food choices (don'T we all eat worse and feel more stressed when we don't sleep enough?).

    You just need to take things slowly... you need to focus on the short-term and on what you CAN do instead of what you cannot do. You CAN work on your sleep schedule.. you CAN try to be more mindful of the things you are eating... you CAN try to increase protein and fiber and decrease sugar and white breads... you CAN increase water intake.. you CAN go for walks or do zumba or something a few times per week.

    All of these things are completely in your power, but I think you push the problem aside because you are focusing on the big picture and it looks really intimidating and difficult, and you are too scared of failure. Believe me, this is exactly how I used to think so I know how it feels.. .but your health is too important to ignore any longer. Just make one positive choice today, one tomorrow, etc etc and you will start feeling better.

    I will always be here to support you...I KNOW you can do it, but you need to believe it too, Charlotte emoticon emoticon
    3045 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/23/2012 12:29:34 PM
    Slow down take it all in.....then ATTACK each problelm bit by bit, Get online look for free clinics in your area, Then the best thing for both those illness...MOVE MOVE MOVE..walk to your mailbox , then the end of your street,around your block, extend more and more each day. Walking is free, I started in feburary my sugars were in the 300 range. now 36 pounds lost later they are near normal range. i do not have health insurance either my husband lost his job after 20 yrs along with our benefits. anyway after you have been walking you will notice your sugars improving and it will push you to eat better.GET MAD Take your health back your a young woman. Im 44 it doesnt get any easier...Good Luck need any encouragement let me know....
    3046 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.