Any progress is still progress!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
My last few blogs have been about the depression I have been facing and about having to find motivation to lose weight. While it has been a CHALLENGE, I am pushing forward as much as I can :)
Yesterday got kind of rough because of a "fight" between Mom & me. We were both very honest with each other, but unfortunately it wasn't the productive way it should've been. Mom basically told me that she felt like I treated her like I "tolerated" her more than I thought of her as a mother... it broke my heart. As a christian, I should be an example... right? Instead, to my mom and sister, I seem incredibly selfish...
I've thought that for awhile... I know that I'm more selfish than I let others see sometimes. But my family is my family... they see the worst in me, unfortunately. So, the depression I've been feeling has affected my attitude hardcore. I am, like I said in another blog, snapping at everyone and just plain being angry. And irritated... usually with my mother.
I don't want it to be that way. I gave a lesson in youth group about having a Christ-like attitude. I talked about how in order to follow after the whole WWJD thing, you need to also have an understanding of WWJT (what would Jesus think) ... I challenged the youth to make a plan in an area of their life where they don't have a Christ-like ATTITUDE. Whether it be with a friend or family member they are fighting with, or an enemy they can't seem to forgive . I challenged them to have a Christ-like attitude about it all.
I challenged myself to change my behavior towards my mother, even if I know that it's not just my selfishness in the way, but also this depression and "blah" feeling I have faced lately. BUT, no excuses! I have a choice about my actions, even if I don't have a choice about my feelings sometimes ;)
I also am challenging myself right here and right now to change my attitude about MYSELF. To have a Christ-like attitude means to also have a Christ-like attitude about who I am...
A daughter of the Most High King ;)
So, I have found another motivation. Here are the two recently discovered motivations so far:
1) The more I eat healthy and exercise, the less "blah" I feel.
2) I am a daughter of the Most High King... how I treat myself and my body is highly important... more than I have made it seem lately.
So, SP, hopefully you can help me along in this journey and hold me accountable. If any of my blogs seem to reflect an un-Christlike attitude about myself or even my mother, please call me out on it! If my blogs don't have a positive swing to them because I'm letting myself get negative, call me out on it!
All of us can meet our goals and find our motivation to do so! Nothing is impossible with God! Christ gives us the strength we need so let's take that strength and USE it! Don't let the Lord's gift to us be in vain ;)
P.s... sorry, my blogs sometimes seem "rambly" (yea... it's a word now. Don't judge haha). My mind is a little choppy sometimes and I jump back and forth a lot between subjects occasionally haha. Or I abruptly change the subject haha! Sorry!