I am still pressing forward.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
This will be my new mantra for the days ahead. I have gotten a bit sidetracked during the "break" weeks between Biggest Loser Challenges. I also tell myself that I want to be a lower weight but then when I make progress I seem to turn around and run from my goal. Sometimes it is a slow creep in the wrong direction. Other times it seems to be a full on run into old habits and the "comfort" of foods I used to eat.
I have been contemplating this a lot. I really an struggling with the desire to eat no sugar for an extended time. This would mean no candy, no cake or other baked goods, no white flour, no soda. Basically no treats. I will allow a bit of fruit here and there, with a protein provided my blood sugar is within range.
I want to do this because I am a diabetic and it is healthier for me to moderate my carbohydrate intake. I feel better when I do not eat lots of sugar. When I eat sugar I seem to want more than if I avoid it. Sometimes it feels like more of a need than a want or that would be nice. I have given sugar up before and know that it is a good course of action for me. I know that when I want sugar and crave it really bad giving in does not solve the problem. I still want sugar more later. Sometimes only a few minutes later. It is not a eat this and be done with the craving once and for all. If I avoid sugar sometimes the cravings go away but even if they don't I am still no worse off than if I give into the cravings.
I feel like I am writing the same thing over and over. But, I really want to make this change. When my kids learned to walk they fell and got up again. Eventually they learned to walk run and all kinds of other skills. I am hoping that I will learn this skill.
I want to figure out how to change the attitude inside my head. It seems that when I make this choice there is a voice inside my head that shouts "That's not fair". I am trying to figure out how to combat that in a simple way. It is not fair that my boys can eat whatever and be thin and healthy. (We don't eat too much junk food and they don't like it much anyway.) But, whether or not it is fair does not change what I need to do. It also does not change what I feel good doing.
When I am eating healthier I feel better. I have more energy when I don't try to get fuel from sugar. My body uses other foods better than it uses sweets and sugar. I know this. I know how I feel. It is time to feel good. Knowing that should help me stay on the path.
I would like to not eat sugar until my birthday in October. This will be a challenge but, it is possible.
This is possible. I want to run and embrace the new me. I want not to be creeping in the wrong direction.
I can do this. I will do this. I am doing this.