Gotta Start Somewhere.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
I realize what's going on. I'm not sure how it wasn't obvious before, especially as I wrote my last blog. I feel like I might be slipping back into depression. It wasn't obvious until my break down today. My break down that came out of the blue but all seems to tie back into my weight and everything else. Mix that with the way I have been snapping at everyone -- nieces, nephews, siblings, mother, boyfriend -- I realize that I'm getting close to falling back.
So my motivation? The fact that the more I focus on staying positive and losing this weight and getting healthy, the less I will feel depressed. I feel like my energy and desire to function will return if I get healthy. So, that's what I'm going to motivate myself with. I need to be all that I can be and slipping back into that slump of depression will not get me there. It will not help me and Brian's relationship, it won't help me and my mother's relationship, and it will not help my current internship with the youth group.
So, I have a choice to make and I'm making it now. I will fight as much as I have to fight to get out of this slump. I will move forward. I will get healthy. "Simple" as that. I will decide to be happy when I meet my goals. I will decide to break through foggy days and clouded emotions.
I gotta start somewhere