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Learning to just BE ME...

Saturday, June 02, 2012

I am learning about myself. Make no mistake I know that I have accomplished a lot. My highest weight was over 300 pounds. I now am approaching Onederland. I am excited. I am a bit scared. I am a bit hopeful and a bit discouraged. But I am thinking about who I am and how much I have learned to make my own choices.

I had a great mother... Until I was six and she died.
Family folklore says that she hated to wash the silverware. She would put the silverware in the sink and leave it until the end and wash it last. Not because it was easier but, because she did not like to wash it. I remember her cutting her hand on a knife she had left in the dish water and staying with the neighbor while she went to get stitches on her thumb.

The other day I was washing dishes. They were all over the house and the kitchen. I put warm soapy water in the washing sink and began gathering the dishes. Thinking of Mom I smiled and put the silverware in the sink. I also put in some plates to soak. I was gathering stuff and then began to wash. I realized after a bit I had a clean kitchen and I had washed the silverware right after the plates. I also had ignored the very strict order my stepmom preferred the dishes washed in. I was doing it my way.

As I continue on this journey I am learning to take ideas from many sources but, to do what feels good for me. I will arrive. I will continue to get healthy and be happy with my progress.

There is a kids show that talks about 104 days of summer vacation, I love the idea of learning things over the summer my birthday is in October. What if I add a few days and challenge myself to a 133 days of actually doing this to the very best of my ability. Sparks says I can be well under the 199 pound mark by my birthday. I want to do this.

Here are the things I will be doing:
1. No sugar except Sundays.
2. Eat a 4 servings of vegetables daily.
3. Eat one serving of fruit daily.
4. Exercise at least 1/2 hour on my bike each week day.
5. Walk at least 1 hour each week day.
6. Lift weights 3 days each week.
7. Take my meds as prescribed.
8. Prayer, Journal, Scriptures.
9. Keep the house in order-especially kitchen clean at night.
10. Do at least 1/2 hour of something creative most days.

These are not in order just the order that came to mind as I have been pondering this. Nor are they all new. Many of these things I am already doing. But, to see them in print will really help me feel like I have done my best so that on my birthday I can give myself the gift of a great body.

The negative voice is telling me I have tried this before. But, I am older and wiser now and I know it is possible. Plus at some point I will succeed so it might as well be now.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • NANCY-
    If you truly want it you will succeed. I have faith in you. You have a clear vision and a path that works for you.
    emoticon
    3298 days ago
  • GT2SMILE
    Beautiful blog! And I love the silverware story. :) You also have some wonderful goals! I wish you the very best on this new phase of your journey!! emoticon
    3299 days ago
  • KENDRACARROLL
    Love your blog.
    Ignore that negative voice; this weight battle can be won.
    Learning to just be you, I think, might be ongoing, but I think that's a good thing. Having the chance to learn and grow every day is really amazing.

    You've come a long way from being over 300 lbs, so you know you can do this. Trick is to just keep doing it. Wishing you much success on your 133 day challenge to Onederland.
    3299 days ago
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