Monday, May 28, 2012
Everyone of you know that I've been suffering through a plateau for about a month now. Over the weeks I've become more and more discouraged with my weight loss journey and doubts have started creeping in. Am I, like many in my family, destined to be overweight and/or obese for the rest of my life? Is my goal of losing 114 pounds in a year over ambitious? Will I ever reach my goal weight?
I've been trying to stick with the positive and look at my increased fitness level as well as the way my clothes fit rather than just the scale. The problem with that is that I still weigh very, very much more than what my 5' 3" frame should. The motto that I seem to be hearing from everyone (not just on Spark where I get the most wonderful support) is "maybe you're building muscle. Muscle weighs more than fat and helps you burn fat." I've heard it so much I want to get sick..... or punch the next person who says that to me. I'm not sure which yet. All good intentions aside, I want the muscle, but I also want the fat to come off. By the looks of myself in the mirror while trying to find work shorts, it's not happening. My upbeat, chipper self is quickly becoming an emotional, stressed out mess. My anxiety and worry about all this actually put me in tears the other night.
I've read the plateau busters articles, I've changed up my exercise, I've changed up my diet... and here I sit, the same weight I was at the beginning of the month. The part that gets me the worst is that all this happened when I really started working out 4-5 days a week on a regular basis. "What's the point?" says that little voice in the back of my head, "others do it without exercising as much, or even at all." Well, that's the question of the day now isn't it?
I'm not quitting, I'm not decreasing my exercise. In fact, I want to try jogging instead of walking. But that little voice is trying to eek it's way to the forefront of my mind and I fear I'm fighting a losing battle.