Hit to the Self Image
Thursday, May 17, 2012
This plateau has really hit me right where it counts. I was enjoying a steady downward flow with my weight loss and my confidence and self image were headed upwards. All of a sudden, they're taking a hit as I struggle with trying to figure out why I'm not losing weight again. I love how my body has changed so far, but I see so many things that still need to change. I'm not gaining, but I'm not losing. I'm not over eating or under eating. My life is filled with a bunch of "buts" right now and it's killing me.
I know this blog is a big whiny bunch of boo hoos, but I've been struggling with these feelings and felt like if I didn't get it out, it would just poison me and my thinking. I don't want to revert to just mindlessly eating or not caring again. I don't want to give up. Those thoughts aren't there yet, but honestly, it wouldn't take a lot of not making any progress for them to sneak back into the weak parts of my mind.
I did the math and in order to make my goal, I need to lose an average of 9.3 pounds per month between now and my birthday next year. With the way things are going, I'm not sure if that's going to happen or not. If I can get back on track, I know I can do it, but it's getting back to losing my 1-3 pounds per week that's going to get me there. I am so frustrated with this hang up I just don't know what to do with myself.