I've slid the slippery slope.
Monday, May 14, 2012
It began with that day I cheated with Chinese food a week and a half ago, and now I've gained 2 lbs. It's so hard to stay on track during times of celebration, such as my engagement, the end of the school year, and my graduation. I let myself have pizza with my friends, buffet meals with my family, and a few (actually, a lot) of drinks with my fiance. What I've done in the last 10 days has sabotaged 3 weeks of work. I'm still 19 lbs away from my goal weight, which I had originally intended to make by June 30th, but now it appears I'll have to push that date back.
Also - I bought a bikini (my first one in 10 years).... and I HATE it. I let my fiance talk me into it, and then I let him pick it out, and then I let him convince me that I look great in it. He lies, albeit very sweetly. I haven't felt this terrible about myself in a long time. Looking at myself in the mirror with my new swim suit on makes me forget the almost 35 lbs I've lost completely. All I can envision for myself is the horror I'm going to feel stripping down in front of my girlfriends. For some reason, I'm far more self conscious in front of my girl friends than my fiance or guy friends. Maybe it's because I know how judgy girls are.
Now, to bring some positivity into this post. I have gotten back on the horse. Yesterday was amazing, and today is sure to be even better. After trying on some wedding dresses, I became more self-aware of some of the areas I need to work on, so I have started working on my lats, shoulders, and lower back. I'm also back to running and zumba.
Hopefully, in 2 weeks, I'll have done the damage control needed and even lost some more. After all, I need to fit into that wedding dress and this new bikini.