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Same Song 2nd Verse

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

A little louder and a little bit worse or at least that’s how I remember the song going.
For me, it’s been same song 2nd verse a little bit harder, a little bit worse.

Staring with my son’s birthday the day before Thanksgiving, my eating has been healthy, but too high in calories with frequent impulse/emotional eating. I can identify the whys and how comes, but ultimately must admit I haven’t coped as well as I would have liked. The result is a 15 pound gain over the last three months. Yes, I had a lot on my plate and still do. I worked two jobs while I transitioned to a new full-time position, and I am enrolled in an online degree program, and my daughter’s marriage is falling apart so to reduce my granddaughter’s stress I’ve had her every weekend and many more days. My day begins with 1.5 hours at the gym and continues with a 30 mile commute, an 8 hour day and finishes with a 2-4 hour study period. To say I am busy is an understatement. While I know the value of a good night’s rest, and have preached it over and over, I found myself in a situation where sleep was something I could give up. I didn’t count on it going on for so long.

I’m good at driving myself. Too good! I almost forgot how necessary and down right good it feels to simply stop and breathe. I’m working to incorporate a bit of breathing into every day. I can hear you laughing as you read that. Remember I said I am very good at driving myself, but not so good at relaxing and breathing. I am currently taking about 15 minutes daily for pleasure. Whether that is Sparking or cleaning my bike or house, it is non-driven and relaxing to accomplish some of those types of pleasurable activities. I know it. I need it. I’m working on it.

As for the weight, ug, I am going to get it down. I feel very overwhelmed and I’m not sure how to recapture that in control feeling. I am practicing healthy self-talk, and my sleep deficit is evening out, but I still feel a bit out of sorts emotionally and that tends to lead me to emotional eating. Drats it is so hard to stop that act.

On the flip side, my fitness is soaring. Yes soaring. I am strong on the bike and getting stronger every week. And, drum roll please, a long awaited wish has come true. I have connected with other female cyclists and we are riding together weekly. Our goal is the Seattle to Portland (STP) in July. We expect to ride the 200 miles in a day. Woo Hoo! It is so much fun to ride with others.

Most of us who Spark very long come to accept that healthy living is a work in progress and you never really arrive. I accept that. While I don’t like the 15 pounds, I know they will come off as my miles build and my life settles. I’ve learned with 50 years of living that there are ups and downs. The ups come without fail just like the downs do. Knowing that the rough times will end makes all the difference.

My “free” time is up. I need to hit the books before I leave for work. Thanks to all who have continued to be my friend while I was silent. I cherish you and think about each of you often. Be kind to yourself and never ever give up.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow you do have a lot on your plate! You seem like you have got an idea with where you need to improve or work on though so that's always good! What program are you studying on-line? As far as the weight goes, it sure doesn't seem like it takes much for it to creep back up! You can have one off week and easily gain a few pounds (at least I can) but when you work out or eat right it doesn't always seem like the pounds melt off as fast as they went on. lol But you know what to do to make it happen. I can feel the faith in yourself as I read your blog, all you have to do is set a goal and work towards it. I just listened to a motivational blog and it said to get motivated all you have to do is "do it". "Doing" is what motivates us so I say set small goals (number one should be getting more sleep) and just keep making small goals like that so you can always have something to work towards. I love that you have found a friend to ride with! That is so awesome! I just joined a cycling group myself! All I know is how to ride a bike but I know nothing about gears and all that...so...we have our first bike lesson next week! Woo hoo! Keep breathing...you're doing great and I know you'll get those pounds off in no time!
    3378 days ago
    Firstly thats great news about having a group to ride with! Bought my first bike yesterday and went for my first ride this morning and loving it! Lets see how the legs and other bits feel tomorrow.

    Sleep sleep SLEEP! So much depends on getting good rest especially when you are exercising. Being tired pushes us to bad food decisions and making health seem like a struggle.

    Please make adequate sleep one of your health goals - you will feel SO much better for it it the short and long term. And if you have to give up something and think a little more about yourself than other than do it - you know already that you will be able to achieve more in a shorter period when you feel properly rested.

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    3378 days ago
    Sending you a little private note and I stumbled on your blog. I miss you, SisterPea.

    We are doing exactly the same thing ... weight gain and all! Although, you are doing much better with your fitness. Congratulations!!!

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    3379 days ago
    Holy schmoley!!! If we could bottle your ambition & stamina & distribute it world-wide, we'd have NO energy problem!! I admire your get up'n go!!!

    "We expect to do all 200 miles in one day!" Wow...I can't wait to hear about this ride when it's finished!!! And pics, too! And the bike pals sound sooo fun!!! See...yet another of yours goals you can check off as: DONE!! Woooo Hooo!!

    "Ups and downs" ---I was in sales at one time. Our mgr. used to say, "Every 'no' bring you closer to the YES. That might be how it is with "ups and downs". A "down" means the "up" is getting closer and closer.

    You are managing a complex life so well. When the sleep increases and the stress decreases (hopefully soon!), those pounds will ease away. Maybe listen one more time to Steve Siebold's video on Who controls your eating? You or your Emotions? In fact, I'd better do that myself...the sooner the better!

    You're still the leader of the pack!! Thanks for squeezing an update for us into your hectic schedule!

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    3382 days ago
    "The ups come without fail just like the downs do. Knowing that the rough times will end makes all the difference. "
    Yes. YES. I'm right there.

    I'm so excited for you and your biking girlfriends! I know how much finding a group to run with meant to me, so I can just imagine how happy you are as well.

    15 lbs in the light of an entire lifetime will be on its way off again, for certain. The stress, the busy-ness, the everything you're dealing with... hang in there my dear friend. You're right, it will end. You, too, have been missed and thought of often, and fondly.
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    3383 days ago
    Wow you are a busy woman! I'm thinking some of that weight gain has to be muscle gain with your workouts remaining a constant. The lack of sleep is my big obstacle to overcome too. It definitely contributes to my extremely slowwwwwwwww weight loss.

    It's wonderful that you're there for your daughter and granddaughter, but remember to keep that 15 minutes or more to yourself daily. It's good to help those close to us, but making sure we take care of ourselves first makes it easier to care for others.

    The STP sounds exciting. Glad you found a group that can share in your biking journey. Take care!!! Eunissa
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    3383 days ago
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