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Wow... :-(

Thursday, February 23, 2012

It's definitely been a long time since I've been on here. I stopped even trying to lose weight. How can I be so unhappy with myself and not even TRY to do this. I want it so bad. Maybe I'm to lazy. I've been really stressed lately. I have no job so our only income is my husbands. Which barely pays the bills. A few are late and I've just been so stressed about it. I feel like I can't even get a job bc people look and me and think I'm Fat so they don't hire me. I don't have much experience in anything really. I just want to be happy. I need motivation. My husband said he would work out with me but as bad as it sounds I'm kind of embarassed to work out with him. Maybe we can take walks together with our dog or something. I broke my foot about 4-5 months ago. (5th metatarsal?) it doesn't bother me much now. But I don't do anything either. I want to try to start yoga, walk with my husband and maybe play on the kinect? I have a dance game that makes me sweat pretty good but as soon as I get a little tired I quit. I could push myself with that I guess. I am just SOO completely uncoordinated I look like an idiot. Lol. I have lost alot of energy the past few months and I sleep way to much I think. Maybe I'm depressed? I hope trying to workout and eating better will help my energy and keep me motivated. But I'm always stressing over money... It's always on my mind. I need to get on here everyday to help my stay motivated. I need more buddies on here. I'm not sure if anyone even reads my blogs but it feels kind of good to get it off my chest. I'll let you know how this goes!! :-)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you so much for writing. I think we are in a very similar situation!! Which is very comforting to me. I'm 5'4' and weigh 253. Very frustrating. And I can use all the buddies I can get!!! Im excited you wrote me bc since we are starting this weigh loss journey at about the same time I think it will be awesome to have someone to talk to about working out and eating right. I would love to share progress with eachother!! I think it would be very motivating for us.


    Hope to talk to you soon!!
    3256 days ago
    So I wanted to tell you I was going through the blogs posted today and came across your first video blog. Which led me to check out your blog. So here I am and after hearing your story, I can completely understand how you feel. I'm in a similar situation, but this is my first time joining SP. I joined because I have no support in my life as far as weight loss goes. I have moral support from my fiance and he's the same as your husband, supportive and wants to work out with me but I feel the same as you. I avoid it and work out by myself because i'm embaressed. I struggle while working out and I don't want him to be grossed out or disappointed lol to be honest. So that's why I'm here, I realize I need help, I can't do this on my own, it hasn't worked in the past. I'm a stay at home mommy because of my daughter but would love to go back to work in the near future. Only problem is I have horrible back pain because of my weight. I know in my heart, how you feel, no-ones gonna hire me looking like this. I'm not putting myself down, it's just I know how society is. Bigger girls are honestly not accepted, your either skinny or prepare to be ridiculed. So I'm commited to this, to change. I want to be healthy and happy again. I'm happy with life but at the same time my weight gets me depressed at times. After seeing your blog I wanted to take the time to write you and if you'd like to be buddy's that would be great! Even though I'm new at this maybe we can learn together, so we can both be successful. I'm on here everyday tracking my calories and workout (im doing couch 2 5k right now) So if you'd ever like to talk or need motivation I would love to help. emoticon
    3256 days ago
    Thank you so much!! When I first started I never really communicated with anyone. But I really do think that it helps. I will definitely keep up with everyone and let it motivate me!! Thank you so much for your kindness and support!! It really is awesome!! I feel so good right now!! You guys are the best!!
    3256 days ago
    Hi girloo! Ever heard the old Japanese proverb "Fall down 7 times, get up 8" ? It's one of my favorites. I've been on & off this site many times, but I just keep coming back & I think you're right because the reason I think it's working this time longer than others is because I'm finally reaching out to others like you! I only got back up this week, but the support & kind words make all the difference! Also, I know how hard depression & tough times can be to make healthy changes in your lifestyle during, but this week I just started begrudgingly going through the motions of working out, eating better, & cutting the cocktails & lemmietellya the depression is already starting to seem like a thing of the past! Also, I LOVE walks with my boyfriend. We used to take them on our 10 minute breaks when we worked together, but now I still take them on my own & just call him. If he's busy, I say nice things to myself. Sounds silly, but I think self-esteem is also a huge part of a healthy lifestyle. Sorry for the book, but you gorgeous lady have just earned yourself another sparkbuddy! :-) emoticon
    3256 days ago
    Wow getting comments from you guys so fast really makes me emotional. To know that there really are others out there who feel how I feel. Thank you guys so much!! I'm thinking of starting a video blog if I can figure how to upload my videos from my phone. When I checked my email and saw several comments and friend adds I started to cry. I seriously appriciate everyone bein so supportive!! Thanks guys!!
    3256 days ago
    I read it, I do not know what to said, besides, you need to take control back, exercising put me in my best mood, I always feel so powerful and energetic after. start there walking listening a positive song like : everything is going to be all right"
    3256 days ago
    It is always good to vent on a venue like this when you are frustrated. I go through the same thoughts. Just start small. You just need to find the program that fits you. If you have not started yet, try the motivational classes they really help.
    3256 days ago
    I´m sorry to hear you´re going through a rought patch - BUT you´ve taken a step in the right direction by getting back on here and blogging! I gave up on myself for a while too and only last week came back to SP. I need to be here to keep myself motivated too and really could do with a buddy - so if you´re keen....I´ll be your buddy! I have nearly 100 pounds to lose - so I´m here for the long haul.
    3256 days ago
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