Has anyone Seen My MoJo???
Thursday, February 23, 2012
How to begin,,,I guess just write and see how confusing I can be. LOL So many life moments are happening right now . I feel a little lost in the fray. I barely take the time to come to SparkPeople . I don't know why exactly. I thinkI've gotten lazy. When I do and I read blogs from others, I get a sense of calm and an I can do this attitude. Then it will be a few days before I come back and the feeling has left.
I have some amazing friends on here that help me thru so much. Most are those life moments that are creeping in more and more. Kids , grandkids(who live with me) my Mom, a very good friend who is sick. Seems like there is always someone pulling on my sleeve. You remember the add where the dog is tugging on the little girls pants and it shows her tan line? Thats how I feel. Most of the time I don't have the capacity to say no. But I'm getting there.
I know some of my problem is the only cardio I can do and not hurt too bad , is my stationary bike. Of course I haven't done it for a while and when I got on to start back up, I could hardly get thru a minute from the pain it caused. Now for those of you who don't know, I have had back surgery and need both hips replaced. Thats where the pain comes in, my hips. Of course I'm putting that off as long as I can. Mostly from the fear of that pain but also because the doc said to wait as long as I could. They aren't sure how long these will last so wait for it. So I have been. I do know that this year climbing the stairs is much harder then last year. I told my husband that if this keeps up , I won't be able to get upstairs to bed in a couple of years. Or downstairs to do laundry. We n\may have to move or I have surgery. He wants the surgery this year because our great insurance may take a nose dive next year. So what to do.
Now don't anyone take this wrong. I love all my grandkids. Three of them live here due to the economy and poor choices by their parents. Having two 2 year olds and a 9 month old around daily is stressful. I feel like I have been thru this once, and now I should be able to exercise when I want . That just isn't happening. My life runs pretty much around their schedules. I know , they are their parents responsibility. I get that. I guess it's just not in me to ignore their wants and needs. It's like I'm programmed and the program won't let me change it.
I do have a wonderful friend that is very sick. She does let me stay at her house for some quiet time once in a while. Or I go there because she's going thru a bad spell and help her anyway I can. Either way , it does restore some of my sanity. LOL Thanks to my husband who lets me have the time away. He works nights so we don't miss seeing each other too much. We only spen about an hour a day together anyway. hehe But still he's good about me going. I think he knows I need to go somewhere or loose it.
Now with all that said, I know that I can't let life get in the way. I am and I need to figure out how not to let it. I have lost weight before and felt great. Then I did the same thing as now. Life got in the way and stress seeped in. I am trying to get a handle on it before it gets so big that I don't care anymore. I don't want that to happen. I can't imagine moving my body around now 60 lbs heavier. Not to mention the 50 I still need to loose. So any suggetions are welcome. I know I haven't been a very good Sparkfriend the last few months. Some of my very close ones probably are feeling my lack of support. To them, I apologize with all my heart. You have definitely made this journey so much better. Just give me time to get my act together and figure out a good juggling method.